Stuck on the slow path
by Haxong
Summary: Padmé survived and raised the twins in the Rebellion, believing her husband to be dead. Darth Vader rose to power in the Empire, believeing Padmé to be dead. When they meet again both are disgusted with the path the other has taken yet they still feel drawn to each other. They finally decide to do what Padmé begged for from the beginning: to run away and start anew together.
1. The trial

**1\. The trial**

Ricardo Endivain was a Lieutenant in the Imperial Army. He was from Corellia and had started his career by working for the Trade Federation. Later, he served in the Separatist army during the Clone Wars and when those had been lost, he'd been press-ganged into joining the Empire. That had been four years ago. During those four years he had personally murdered 22 civilians, gave orders for the executions of over 30 more as well as lead troops against the Rebellion in battles that caused another 1000 deaths of Rebel soldiers. He was twice divorced with one child living with his second wife and his Imperial records held three counts of sexual harassment, investigation pending.

As Padmé Naberrie skimmed over the contents of the man's files, a wave of disgust and contempt overcame her. This man seemed to sum up everything she despised. From allying with the Trade Federation that she had fought against for so long to protect her planet, Naboo, to working with the Separatists, not even caring that they lead a war against his own planet of Corellia amongst others; she could already see that he was an unreliable, greedy person. Add to that the accounts of murders of innocents, the worst war crime one could commit as well as the deaths of fellow Rebels, some of which she might have known only further served to rise her anger. And then his disrespect for women as well as his own family, it was just too much. This was a despicable person, a monster worse even then-

Padmé bit her tongue and mentally slapped herself. Still she couldn't stop the short flash of memories. Of children crying and bleeding and begging and dying.

There were no children under Endivain's victims.

Three weeks ago the Corellian had helped two Rebels to escape from Imperial holding cells. They had lead him to their team leader where Endivain had claimed that he wished to leave the Empire and join the Rebellion. His supposed reason was that he could no longer go along with the cruelty of the Empire. Further digging however had revealed that he was to stand trial on Imperial military courts for the rape of a female Imperial officer, a scandal that even if he was not sentenced would cost him his position.

Endivain had offered valuable intel in exchange for protection and a 'second chance'. Padmé had been personally approached by Mon Mothma and asked to be lenient on this criminal. Endivain knew the names of several Imperial spies within their ranks and they really needed to know these.

But Padmé had no intention of just letting this man get away like this. She was one of only five judges in the Rebellion currently on the planet even authorized to set a punishment for such high level war prisoners and she'd be _damned_ if she let the Rebellion become infested with the same corruption and favoritism that had brought the Republic to its knees.

If this had been the courts of Naboo, the prisoner would've been sentenced to a lifetime in prison, which accounted to 25 years.

If this had been Coruscant during the Republic, he would've stayed in prison until he actually died.

If this had been the Empire and he'd been a Rebel soldier surrendering - he'd would've been tortured until he gave them the information they needed and then he'd have been executed without anyone ever learning about his fate.

But this was the Rebellion. They did not execute people. They did not imprison people either, simply because they lacked the facilities. The only means of punishment Padmé had at her disposal was to decide which work Endivain would have to do. If Padmé listened to Mothma, she would sent him to the mechanics or the medical corps or maybe into weapon distribution. He would do a civilians work for the Rebellion, only without getting paid and he'd do that for five or six years after which he'd be a full member of the Rebellion.

Padmé slammed the file shut and stood. She left her room with decisive steps and went into the office behind the door where Endivain, his lawyer, the prosecution as well as seven or eight observers already waited for her.

The office itself was by no means big enough to be called a courtroom. But Endivain had first met them on Alderaan and because nobody wanted to reveal the involvement of any other planets to him in fear that he might be a spy after all, this is where his trial had been held and this is where he would be sentenced. However, Alderaan had no real Rebel base. Any of their activities had to be disguised as regular civilian business. When not involved with the Rebellion, Padmé worked as a private detective together with her former handmaiden Rabé but her real commitment was being a judge for the criminals of the Rebellion.

"Please sit down", Padmé said to the assembled visitors and let her cool gaze pass over all of them. She made out the two little birds that had been sent by Mothma and would undoubtedly go back to her to tell how the trial had gone. Then there were the two soldiers, disguised as policemen, who were flanking the prisoner and would make sure he didn't dare to escape his sentence. The rest of the visitors... Padmé could only guess that they had somehow been wronged by Endivain. They were the victims and they were glaring at him with burning hatred. Some were glaring at Padmé too, daring her to ignore their pain, daring her to let this man go...

"I have come to a decision for this case", Padmé announced once everyone was seated. "The defendant has plead guilty in all accounts but it remains doubtful that his remorse is anything but a sham", she said bitingly. "He will have to prove his loyalty to the cause of the Rebellion as well as his commitment by serving with Black Squadron for fifteen runs as well as serving ten years of public service afterwards."

Her audience looked shocked for a moment. Then whispers started to break out amongst the observers. The two birds began to protest and Endivain's lawyer openly shouted at her:  
"Fifteen runs!? My client isn't a foot soldier, let alone a certified pilot! You might as well sign his death warrant!"

Black Squadron was a designation for squadrons made out of criminals or volunteers, lead by a war veteran. They took the most dangerous missions that often had little chance of success and an even smaller chance of getting out alive. Only the most crazy soldiers volunteered for such missions - that or those of them who had lost everything and just looked for an honorable death on the battlefield or a means to drag as many Imperials down with them as they died.

Endivain would have to survive fifteen missions with Black squadron and then do ten years of unpaid work on top of that. It was the harshest punishment Padmé had given out since she'd been appointed as judge but when she was met with the accusations of the lawyer, her gaze wandered over to an older woman and her daughter, who nodded at her in grim satisfaction - and she knew she'd done the right thing.

"My decision is final", she told the lawyer. "If you don't like it, you can call for a revision with a higher court."

The lawyer rolled his eyes. "You _are_ the highest court on Alderaan."

Padmé smiled thinly. At least for the Rebellion, that was true.

"Then I suggest you leave my office now. As you can imagine, I am a busy woman."

One of the soldiers grabbed the lawyer by the arm when he wanted to protest further. With a snort he turned away and slowly the people started to leave. At the door though, Endivain turned around to her one last time.

"You will regret that, bitch", he hissed at her coldly.

She could see the promise of pain in his eyes then but Padmé merely met his gaze with steely resolve.

Eventually one of the soldiers hit him against the back of his head until he continued moving.

Only when the door was closed did Padmé sit down with a sigh and buried her face in her hands for a moment.

Every time the Rebellion sent her a war criminal, her thoughts tended to drift off. Instead of Endivain, she imagined her husband sitting on that chair. Anakin had been a hero, the savior of the Republic - until he turned on them and committed unspeakable crimes against the Jedi. Of course he hadn't seen it like that. For him the Jedi had been the traitors, trying to assassinate his friend, the Chancellor and the Separatist Council, well, they were the enemy, weren't they?

But that didn't excuse the slaughter of the _children._ Even today, even after hearing what Obi-Wan had told her about the influence of the Dark side, even now she couldn't understand how he could've done that. He'd been about to become a father himself, how could he possibly hurt those children?

She tried to tell herself that none of it mattered not. Anakin was dead. He'd died on Mustafar shortly after he attacked Padmé. He would never harm any children ever again, least of all her own.

And yet Padmé still felt a sharp pain at the thought of her husband's death. She would never see his smile again or pet his hair. She would never see him tinker at some droid. She would never feel his touch again.

She missed him. She still missed him after five years. On some days, she told herself that Anakin had gone temporally insane. Lack of sleep, stress and this fear of his that she'd die, combined with whatever Force addiction the dark side held must have driven him crazy but if she had only been able to get through to him, if only she could've made him listen, she might've been able to bring him back...

But it was too late now. Obi-Wan had been convinced that Anakin had fallen too far to be brought back and after seeing that he'd choked her while she was _pregnant_ with _their child,_ she could see why he thought that.

And still she missed him.

Padmé's thoughts were interrupted when her comm beeped. It was Rabé, her partner. She did most of the actual private detective work that served as a front for Padmé's real job as well as sometimes did some secretary work for her when she was too busy.

"Rabé, what is it?", she asked her.

"Oh good, the trial is already over. I wasn't too sure", the other woman answered. "I just wanted to remind you that it's nearly five o'clock."

"Oh, is it? I hadn't noticed", Padmé said without much enthusiasm.

"You sound tired. Should I go and pick up the twins for you?"

Padmé hesitated, the offer sounded tempting. But then she sighed. "No, I'll go. You can have the rest of the day free."

"Alright. See you tomorrow."

Padmé ended the call. However she remained sitting for a full five minutes afterwards, gathering her thoughts and her strength. This case had brought unpleasant memories to the surface and she had to , she _needed to_ lock them away before she went to get her children.

Once she had regained her confidence, Padmé left the office and took her small hovercar to drive to the daycare center where Luke and Leia played during the day. It was already ten past five when she arrived. Luke and Leia were sitting at a table in front of the building, eating ice cream. With them was Mrs. Morin, a mother of a daughter a year older then her twins. The children were friends and Mrs. Morin had agreed several times to babysit for the twins. Padmé felt embarrassed when she spotted the woman taking care of her children like that. What would that look like to her?

When Padmé left the hovercar and the twins spotted her, their formerly glum faces lighted up like two bright suns.

"Mama!", Luke shouted and immediately came running towards her, carelessly letting his ice cream fall to the ground as he did so. Padmé actually had to stake a step back, she was hugged so fiercely by the five year old.

Leia did not react as strongly. She did stand up to come to her as well but silently continued to enjoy her ice cream.

"Thank you for looking after them Mrs. Morin", Padmé said.

"It's no problem at all. The children had an exciting day today, I'm sure they have much to tell you", she answered with a smile. Then she bid her goodbye and Padmé ushered the twins into the car.

On the way back to the office, Luke began to tell her all about what they had learned today. He'd heard the story about how the first people discovered space travel and now it was his heartfelt wish to become a pilot one day. Padmé's smile faltered a bit at the reminder of her husband. It didn't mean anything, she tried to tell herself. Last week, Luke had wanted to be a fire fighter and the week before that he wanted to be a mynock hunter.

At that moment, Padmé caught sight of Leia still eating her ice cream in the mirror. The little girl hadn't said a single world on the whole way and Padmé was stuck at the angry scowl on her face. An uncomfortable knot formed in her stomach when she saw it.

"Leia? Is everything alright?", Padmé wanted to know.

"Fine", she said curtly and looked out of the window.

"Leia is angry because Harloth Thane threw flimsy at her during painting hour."

"Harloth is a stupid jerk!", Leia called out with a huff.

"I think you like him", Luke teased her.

Leia glared at him with her mouth wide open for a moment Then she scowled, raised her hand and bashed Luke over his head with her ice cream. Luke screamed in shock when the cold substance hit his forehead and sticky strawberry ice cream was smeared all over his hair.

Padmé hit the brakes when she heard the scream.

"Leia!", she shouted. "What have you done?!"  
"He started it!", the girl said immediately glaring at Luke.

"Not true!", Luke complained. "Mama, I have ice cream in my hair!"

"You deserve that!", Leia shouted.

"Enough! Stop arguing at once, that is no way to behave yourselves!"

Luke gaped at her. "But... But she started it!"

"I said enough! I had a really trying day today and you are not helping matters!"  
Suddenly the twins' eyes simultaneously went wide.

"Mama, over there!", the shouted in unison, pointing at something ahead.

Padmé turned just in time to see the huge hovertruck approaching her car that had stopped right at a crossroad.

Then came the crash. Then the pain. Then the siren. And then nothing.


	2. The news

**2\. The news**

The air returned into the pressurized capsule with a hiss the moment the switch was flipped. Within it, Darth Vader, Dark Lord of the Sith, was once again encased in his black armor. Phantom pain still sizzled across his limbs. It was only within a bacta tank that he could be completely without pain, outside of it he was constantly plagued by it.

But it had been almost a dozen years since he had received those injuries and by now Vader had learned to live with them. He had learned to funnel his pain and concentrate it into anger, anger that made him stronger in the dark side. Despite his body's imperfections he was now more powerful than ever before.

Vader stepped out of the capsule he had spent the night in. His ship was currently in orbit of Alderaan. The Emperor required that he attend negotiations between the Moff in charge of the system and the local government.

The assignment was a joke, an insult, really. Vader had been wounded while chasing a Jedi on a distant Outer Rim world. The Jedi was dead and his injuries had been healed with just a minor operation. His Master never explicitly said that the negotiations served to give him a rest. He'd been told that he was simply there for intimidation as the Emperor didn't want the people of Alderaan to argue with the Moff. Vader had been sent on such assignments before, it was the timing that made him suspicious. He could see it in front of his inner eye, the sneer on his wrinkled face, the fake worry for his well being.

There had been a time when Vader had craved any such sign of worry, some proof that he meant something for the older man. Palpatine had always treated him well and he'd looked up to him as he would to a father. After the loss of his mother especially, he began to crave his affection and approval. He seemed to be the only one who understood and supported him in everything he did. At first when Vader took on the mantle of Sith, when he acknowledged the man as his Master, he had hoped that they would improve or at least continue a relationship of trust, like the one he had with his Jedi Master.

Of course, after what Obi-Wan had done to him he should've realized there was no value in such a relationship.

It wasn't like Palpatine suddenly started treating him badly. At first the changes had been subtle. When he met with the man, it was either to progress his training as a Sith or to be given some new mission. They never had any casual conversations any more. He was never called to the Emperor just because the man wanted to know how he was, what he was doing, how his friends and family fared.

Of course, he had neither friends and family now. His life consisted of only training, missions and pain. It was a logistical issue, really. Vader had to spend a certain amount of time in treatment of his permanent injuries. Sometimes he would be out for days while droids operated on him. There simply was no time for him to pursue any other activities and so all their conversations had to involve either the Empire or the Sith.

And that was alright, really, it just meant his Master wanted him to be the best he could be. That was the whole point of being a teacher. The missions were never anything he couldn't handle either. From the stories he'd heard about the Sith from the Jedi, he would've imagined he'd go out slaughtering babies and spreading chaos every day but that was far from true. His missions weren't any more cruel or bloody than what he'd done during the Clone Wars, except he fought more sentient beings as there was no droid army. But it wasn't anything he hadn't done before. He fought against Jedi, yes, but he'd fought against the likes of Dooku and Ventress and Grivious before. They were misguided or traitorous or simply had bad luck for following the wrong side. No difference, really.

Vader did now sow chaos, he brought order and security to the galaxy at long last. He wiped out corruption and enforced the law. He was doing the right thing.

There were times, of course, when he had doubts. The first attack on the Jedi temple had been such a time, when he'd killed the younglings. Palpatine hadn't ordered him to do that. His order had been to take the Jedi temple and to kill every traitor within. Well, you became a Jedi officially only if you reached the rank of Padawan. There had been no reason to kill the younglings. They could've been spared and raised in the Empire.

At that time though, Vader had been convinced that Palpatine meant for him to kill these children to prove himself and his commitment to the dark side. He'd been so driven by his desperation and desire to both end the war and save Padmé that he thought it only right that the mission demanded such a sacrifice for him. It was only later that Palpatine told him that while he did value his commitment, that had not been his explicit orders and he would not demand he needlessly kill children when they were no threat to the Sith.

Vader had never felt so stupid. He had wiped out those young lives for nothing. He had alienated his wife for nothing, driven her to betray him for nothing. If only he had known more about the Sith and the dark side then as he did now, he might've handled the situation better and Padmé might not have died.

Looking back now, Vader felt nothing but contempt for his own stupidity. It had been a valuable lesson but it had cost him the only light in his life. He had no family now, no mother, no brother, no wife nor child and even his father figure treated him more like a tool than a son or student. As a Jedi, Vader had been the most powerful, the best and most successful of them all. Palpatine had recognized his talent and valued him for it. Now, whenever something didn't go perfect on his mission, Vader immediately felt judged. He could feel his disapproval even when it was not spoken aloud. Palpatine valued strength and power and Vader still had much to learn about the dark side. He wanted to make his Master proud but any praise he did receive felt stale and dishonest. He could always do better. It was frustrating and bitter and the worst of it was that even if Palpatine was honestly happy about something he did, Vader probably wouldn't recognize it during to his own doubts.

When Palpatine gave him a diplomatic mission just after he'd been injured during a hunt, it did not feel as if he received a rest but as if his strength and progress in training was being doubted.

This was why Vader felt so frustrated when he left his chamber. It was why he checked his personal commlink to see if there was anything, _anything_ interesting going on Alderaan that he could use to cut short the time he had to spend stuck in boring negotiations. The Republic mostly saw him as the Emperor's lapdog, his bloodhound, a monster let loose on all those that dared threaten the Empire. However, Palpatine made sure he was seen at official functions often enough to drive home that he held a position of power and that was why sometimes pompous, self important fools bothered him with their meager problems, hoping to gain favor with the higher echelons of the Imperial hierarchy.

Stormtroopers had uncovered an illegal weapons cache in the northern hemisphere of Alderaan... There was a big sports event coming up in two days... A month ago two smugglers that had suspected ties to a Rebel organization had been captured and broken out... Why was such an old message on his comm? A lead that old was no use to him. Ah, there it was. Some scumbag of Imperial Lieutenant had 'tried to infiltrate the Rebels on his own'. Meaning he'd deserted when he got into problems with Imperial law, found out the Rebels didn't like assholes either and promptly tried running back and buying his way to freedom by giving them some (probably fake) names of supposed Rebels.

Bastard. Just for the inconvenience of having to waste his time reading about the story, Vader would make sure the guy was executed. Infiltrating the Rebels on his own, yeah, sure.

Still there was always a chance the man had coincidentally stumbled upon a real lead and so Vader opened the report and read it in more dept. It seemed the Rebels hadn't let him come near anyone of importance though. The highest member he could name was the judge who determined his punishment for his war crimes, which was...

Vader stared at the name for several long minutes. His mind was blank. All his irritation and frustration was blown away in favor of utter nothingness as he stared at those two words.

Padmé Naberrie.

When his brain started working at last, his thoughts tumbled over each other. It couldn't be real. It couldn't be, not her, this had to be a coincidence. Besides, she was called Padmé Amidala, not Naberrie, why would she use her maiden name, if anything it would be Padmé Skywalker if Amidala was too prominent, she was his wife after all, except oh yeah, she probably hated him for killing her...

Vader slapped himself mentally and leant against the wall when he felt his legs tremble. He already thought as if this was the real her but it couldn't be, could it? She was dead. He'd killed her, her and their unborn child. Palpatine had said so. But... Palpatine had not been there when it happened and in their search for Obi-Wan, they hadn't found anyone else on Mustafar after they picked him up. It was only after the nearest medical space station had been raided that records had been found of a pregnant woman being brought in who then died in childbirth, neither mother nor child surviving during to injuries they had received previously. According to the stations regulations, the body of the unnamed woman had been released into space afterwards and the Jedi who'd been with her had fled.

Could it be that she had survived? What if the personal simply lied to him about throwing out the body? What if Obi-Wan had kidnapped her and spread the lies to confuse him? That would be so like him, the bloody bastard!

Anger, no fury rose in the Dark Lord as he considered the scenario. Could Padmé truly be alive, hiding on Alderaan, working with the Rebels of all people? The notion was ridiculous, the coincidence simply too great but on the other hand... how many crazy coincidences had to happen for him to arrive at this point in life? It wasn't like the Force hadn't had unlikely fates up her sleeve for him before.

The search for Padmé Naberrie was already underway. Vader hurried to the hangar, eager to get into his personal starfighter and look for the mysterious Rebel who might or might not be his wife himself. He'd just strapped himself in and started the engines when the comm updated the information of the search. A woman named Padmé Naberrie had been brought into the Appenza Hospital.

Padmé was hurt. Padmé lived but she might die, he might lose her again because he wasn't fast enough.

For a moment it was as if the last five years had never been. Vader completely forgot about the negotiations he was to attend. All he could think about was Padmé and that he had to go fast, fast _fast,_ he had to save her!

XxX

AN: I already got reviews! Yay! (give me more...)


	3. For the children

**3\. For the children**

When Padmé woke up to see a Stormtrooper guarding the door to her room her first thought was that she should've let Rabé take the twins.

She was in a hospital, so much was clear from the bed she was in, the largely empty room, the IV connected to her wrist and bandages over her left arm, torso and a bacta patch on her cheek. Everything hurt like she'd been run over by a hovertruck… which she guessed was exactly what happened. That did not explain why a Stormtrooper was guarding her door but that wasn't what was important.

"My children", she said, surprised at how raw her voice sounded. "Where are… my children?"

The Stormtrooper didn't answer or even move.

Padmé struggled to sit up, wincing at the pain in her rips and the machine next to her started beeping frantically. A few moments later a nurse came in, glared at the trooper and then came over, hushing at her and telling her to lay back down.

"My children, where are my children? They were with me in the car, where are they?", she wanted to know.

"Ms Naberrie, please calm down. Your children are both fine. They have some scratches but nothing serious. The boy is still with a healer, the girl is waiting outside. We have called your emergency contact, Ms. Rabé Davout, she's looking after them."

"Thank the gods", Padmé muttered and let the nurse push her back into the pillows gently. "Can I see them?"

"Soon, don't worry, I just have to make a few tests now that you're awake", the nurse said. She checked on her bandages and asked her a couple of questions, where it hurt, what did she remember, what was her medical history…

"I'm sorry", Padmé whispered in between, "but what is he doing here?", she asked nervously, nodding towards the trooper. The Empire, while officially in control of Alderaan, had no significant military presence here.

The nurse hesitated, which told Padmé everything she needed to know.

"I'm sure it is nothing, Ms. Naberrie. They just want to ask you a few question. It will have to wait until you're better though. You broke two rips during the accidents, one of which punctured your lung and you have a concussion as well. I promise we will keep them off your back as long as is… medically necessary."

In that moment the trooper at the door straightened and then began to speak to no one in particular, probably over his helmet comm.

"Yes Sir. The suspect is stable but deemed medically unfit for interrogation. Yes Sir. Understood, Sir."

Then to Padmé's horror he raised his blaster rifle, pointing it at the nurse.

"Miss, I have to ask you to step away from the suspect. She is not to receive visitors until further notice."

"What is the meaning of this?", the nurse exclaimed angrily. "This is my patient, you can't tell me when to do my job and when not."  
"You were finished anyway. Step away from her and leave."

"It's alright", Padmé said with a shaky smile. "You can go, please tell Rabé that she should take the children home."

"I will tell them that you have woken up but I'm afraid the healers want to keep the boy here for at least another day", she answered, sounding both relieved and guilty. "Nothing too serious", she hurried to say at Padmé's expression, "it's just that we still have to scan his arm to see whether it's broken or not but he'll be fine."

The nurse left after that and Padmé was left waiting in suspense, wondering in how much trouble she was, whether Rabé hat the mind to contact her friend Bail Organa who could maybe still protect her from the Empire as well as what would happen to her children if the Empire did find out about her involvement with the Rebels.

She was pulled out of her thoughts when the door was ripped open again. Standing ramrod straight, the trooper saluted and Padmé had barely enough time to get a bad feeling about this when a dark, towering figure entered her small room.

She recognized him at once. As a Rebel, of course she'd heard the stories about this man - if he was a man at all. Darth Vader was infamous for his brutality, his ruthlessness and power. He pursued his victims with the single mindedness of an animal. He was the Emperor's loyal pet, his terrifying weapon. When he first appeared at the Emperor's side with no background to speak of and immediately started to display skills on par with Count Dooku and General Grivious, many had taken it as a sign that the Republic, now Empire, had sunken as low as the Separatists in using a warrior so dedicated to war and bloodshed that he weaponized his own body until there was barely anything organic left in him. But where some people had been driven to the Rebellion by this, others had given up, still riddled by the horrors of the Clone Wars.

There were contradictory information about Vader to be found but there were a few things everyone agreed on. He was a Jedi hunter. He used the Force as well as a red lightsaber to terrify and slaughter people. He answered to the Emperor only. He hated Rebels.

And he had no business being in her room.

Even if the Empire had uncovered proof about her involvement with the Rebels, she was not important or dangerous enough to be a threat to the Empire. She was small fish and the likes of Vader shouldn't be concerned about her. She was no longer a queen and neither was she a senator. She had gone into hiding not to protect herself but for the sake of her children. Her work with the Rebellion had since become her lifeline, something to concentrate and work on while the world fell apart around her but even though she burned to do more, she had to content herself with a position that allowed her to stay in one place, away from any larger groups of Rebels and to minimize her involvement with them to protect the children.

"Padmé", Vader said, the deep voice and hiss of the respirator sending a shudder down her back. "It really is you."

"I'm sorry, I am not to receive visitors", she said firmly but carefully polite, making sure not to let her irritation show that he called her by her first name. "I am still resting."

Vader took a few steps forward so he was standing at the end of her bed. The gesture felt threatening and she shrunk back into the pillows, watching him warily.

"Are you hurt badly?", he wanted to know, which was such a ridiculous question to ask that she just scowled at him.

Half a minute passed. At last, Vader turned around and ordered the trooper to leave, who saluted and did as he was told. Then he turned back to her and continued to watch her for another half a minute.

"You do not recognize me", he said at last.

Confused and irritated, she raised an eyebrow. "I am fairly certain we have never met, Lord Vader. I would've remembered your, I assure you."

She saw him clenching and unclenching his fists. With a whirl of his black cape he turned around and then started to pace through her tiny room.

"You do not know. You do not know what happened to your husband? Padmé _Skywalker._ "

She froze at that. _How_ could he possibly know of her marriage? _Nobody_ knew that, except Obi-Wan and Bail.

Suddenly she realized that she _might_ be of some interest to the Dark Lord after all. If he knew of her marriage with a Jedi, _the_ Jedi really when you listened to the media, then she might have information about others who escaped the purges. And her children, she realized with horror, he might be interested in her children. Obi-Wan had said many times that chances were they were strong in the Force as well. He'd even tried to persuade her to separate the twins and give them to other families so they would be safe and she could concentrate on her role as a Rebel leader.

"I don't know what you're talking about", she blurted out reflexively.

Vader came to tightly grab the rail of her bed at her feet and she could swear she could sense the anger rolling off of him.

And angry he was. When Vader had first learned that Padmé was alive, he'd been relieved. But now faced with her and her cool expression, he was reminded of the reason _why_ he'd attacked her all those years ago. She was his, his wife, his angel, she was _his_ and she defied him, she betrayed him and lead Obi-Wan to him so he could kill Vader. He had wanted to lay the galaxy at her feet and she'd wanted nothing to do with it. She had rejected him.

"You would deny it? You deny your relationship to him, your… your love for him?" He sounded disgusted. "Don't you want to know what happened to him?"

Something like horror dawned on Padmé.

"He's dead", she whispered.

Obi-Wan had told her what happened. He'd told her that Anakin had tried to kill him, his own teacher and friend but that he'd fallen into one of the molten lava pits on Mustafar. There was no way anyone could survive that.

Could it be that Obi-Wan had been wrong? Vader was a Jedi hunter. Maybe he'd tracked down Obi-Wan and Anakin, found the two fighting and tried to kill them both. Was that why Obi-Wan hadn't told her, in some fool's attempt to hide Vader's involvement in Anakin's death so she wouldn't be out for revenge?

"He is not _dead_ ", Vader all but spat. "He is quite alive but imagine, he thought _you_ dead for the last five years. Only to find you alive and kicking and _hiding_."

She blanched at that. Anakin was _alive?_ But…

"Where…", she asked but stopped herself at the last moment, she couldn't rise to his bait.

"It is _me,_ Padmé", Vader all but shouted at her. "Don't you realize? Obi-Wan tortured and mutilated me and now I look like this and you're _hiding_ him, aren't you? Like you did all those years ago! Where is he?" It was like Mustafar all over again. Padmé was with the Rebels, she was working with them against Vader and he wasn't even sure that he trusted her words that she hadn't known he was still alive. And even if that was true it was even worse because she thought Obi-Wan had killed him and yet she had no problem working with him and the Rebel scum.

" _A-Anakin?"_ Padmé was in shock. She just stared at Vader, at this… monster and though she would've never thought to see any resemblance between him and her beloved husband, his words where so much like the angry accusations he'd thrown at her on Mustafar it made her blood run cold.

 _"_ That is my name no longer", Vader growled. "Where is Obi-Wan? Tell me!"

He made to grab her at the hem of her hospital gown and she gasped in pain when her injuries were disturbed. He didn't lash out further at her though. Instead his other hand came up to slowly, almost carefully to pull out the simple necklace barely visible around her neck. Hanging from it was the japor snippet he'd given her many years ago.

"You kept it", he whispered and slowly allowed her to sink back into the bed. Vader did not want to rise memories of him choking her even as said pictures threatened to overwhelm him. He knew that Padmé had greatly treasured that little gift even though it was just a stupid good luck charm that evidently didn't work very well. The sight brought back memories of the good times and he let go of her. She was his angel - no matter what she did, how could he ever hurt her?

"Anakin, by the gods. It really is you", Padmé whispered, shocked and horrified. The last doubts she had about the truth of his identity vanished.

"Where is Obi-Wan?", Vader asked again, tonelessly.

"I don't know. Honestly, I don't know. He came to visit a few times after I settled here but I haven't seen him in three years." Now she glared at him. "You come to me, back from the dead in this armor and everything and _that_ is the only thing you have to say to me?"

Vader's temper rose again. "I only just now found out you were alive!"

"Well so did I!", she shouted back.

Both of them were silent for a moment, fuming in anger. Vader was angry at her accusatory tone. He'd always known Padmé would not approve of his choice, she'd made that clear enough but after her supposed death he'd thought it didn't matter anymore. Padmé on the other hand had just learned that no, Anakin hadn't flown off in the spur of a moment making a few bad decisions, he had chosen a dark path and stuck to it, becoming that which he'd fought against for so many years.

Like the trained diplomat that she was though, Padmé calmed herself first.

"Is that truly all the reason you came to me when you found out? To ask me where Obi-Wan is so you can hunt down and kill him?"

"You have no idea what I have suffered because of him!", Vader bit back.

"Well it looks to me like you let it out on everyone else! You're a _Dark Lord of the Sith,_ Anakin how _could_ you?!"  
"Shut up!", Vader exclaimed and threateningly pointed a finger at her. "How could you, why, why are you doing this, that's all you ever ask! Even if I told you, you wouldn't understand. You have no right to judge me. You betrayed me, you left me, I asked you to trust me and you couldn't."

"You were _murdering children,_ Anakin, how could I trust you? How could I trust you with my life, with the lives of our children if you did something like that? You almost killed me on Mustafar and you _dare_ accuse me of betraying you?"

Vader didn't know what to say to that. That was why he hated arguing with his wife, he could never win. Maybe at that time, killing those younglings _had_ been a mistake, he understood that she would be horrified at that, especially as they'd been about to have their own child. But in the grand scheme of things, it mattered very little and it really was no reason to leave him, it was _not._ They could've... talked about it or something, like adults and instead she had to get all emotional and... Fine, alright he'd made a mistake. Now why couldn't she get over it?

"What you did was _unforgiveable,_ Anakin", Padmé said, which just served to make Vader feel more defiant.

"That is not my name anymore", he growled again.

"I don't care! You're the same man, I can't _believe_ I couldn't see what you'd become earlier. You're thick-headed and short-tempered and you always take the easy way out but are convinced you know better than everyone else. I would blame Palpatine for manipulating you but _nobody_ could be so stupid as to believe him after he showed his true colors!"

"Be careful what you say!", Vader demanded.

"Or what? Will you finish the job? Will you kill me?"

Vader didn't answer to that either. In his anger, a part of him did indeed long to show her just how much more powerful he'd grown but he knew if he did that he'd only prove her point.

Instead he asked in an emotionless tone: "If you despise me that much then why are you still wearing the necklace?"

Padmé clutched the small token in her hand reflexively.

"Until the end, I was convinced there was still good in you", she admitted. "Now, knowing what you've become, I'm not so sure anymore."

"There is no good or evil", Vader answered mechanically. "It is all just a matter of perspective."  
Padmé glared at him. "What are you even still doing here then? I have no information for you. You have to have known I would never agree with the path you've chosen and I have neither the strength nor the patience to try and make you see my point. I believe it is best if you leave now and never come back."

The Dark Lord actually swayed a bit at that. The prospect of losing Padmé so soon after finding her again... He couldn't do it. He just wanted her to be his again. Why did that have to be so damn difficult?

"I will give you another chance", he said at last. "You can come with me. We can be together again."

"Have you heard a single _word_ of what I just said!? Anakin, you turned into a _monster!_ I could never be with you like that."

Now that was seriously offensive. As if it was his fault that he had to live in that suit. It was all Obi-Wan's fault! Vader crossed his arms in front of him and bristled. "I didn't think you'd be so vain."  
"I'm not talking about your mask, idiot!"

Again it took a while for Vader to gather his thoughts and answer.

"So… You're saying that you feel nothing for me anymore? Nothing at all?" He'd always though their love was something eternal and holy. She was his angel after all. She belonged to him. Surely just one mistake and a bit of difference in political opinion couldn't destroy what they had? Padmé hadn't left him on purpose after all. She had thought he was dead like he had. They'd both been driven apart by Obi-Wan, they just had to find back together.

"My husband is Anakin Skywalker and I still hold him dear in my heart. But you said it yourself, that is not your name any longer. You are not my husband."

Vader's shoulders actually slumped at that and Padmé admitted to herself that it felt good, seeing him like that. All that anger she had in her, all that suffering, it felt good to unload it on the one responsible for it all.

"You have been found to be in league with the Rebels", Vader tried another approach. "Without my protection, you will surely be arrested, maybe even killed."

Padmé took a deep breath, reminded herself that for the sake of her children, she had to remain strong.

"Are you offering your protection?"

"If you come with me", he said.

"That's not how it works", she returned icily. "I will not be your prisoner."

"You wouldn't be my prisoner. You'd be my wife. I can only protect you if you stay close to me."

"I refuse."

"Padmé…"  
"No, _Lord Vader._ I'd sooner die than be a slave to the Empire. Now could you please leave. You hurt my rips when you grabbed me. I need to rest."

That sent a pang of guilt through Vader. He hadn't meant to hurt her and yet he had. Same as Mustafar. Maybe it _was_ for the best that he kept some distance to her, at least for now. He'd monitor her from afar, make sure to cut her connections to the Rebels and then, when she was all alone, she would wish for him to protect her.

Again Vader took his time in answering her. At last though, Padmé had almost given up hope, he muttered a: "If that's what you wish" and turned away. He opened the door, stepped into the corridor, she counted the seconds - and he stopped, facing something in the corridor.

There was a door, the upper half made out of glass, separating the corridor and through that door Vader spotted a vaguely familiar woman. He stalled for time, not wanting to leave just yet and regarded her until he recognized her as Rabé, one of Padmé's former handmaiden. She was showing two little children how to operate a nearby snack machine. There was a little girl with dark brown hair in a pink dress and a blonde boy with his leg in a splint smiling at her. The boy looked a little like he had at that age and the hair of that girl was Padmé's exact shade of chestnut...

The seconds crawled away.

"Those children", he whispered at last.

Padmé felt her blood freeze again.

"Are they yours?"

"I don't know what you're talking about."

Vader hesitated. "Have you... found someone else? Are those your children? Is that why you don't want to come with me?"

"Yes", Padmé spat out. "Yes it is. Now leave. Please."

Vader stepped back into the room though, very carefully, very slowly.

"Padmé, what happened to our child? Did it... Did it survive?" He pointed at the corridor while still looking at her. "Padmé, is... my child, our child, is it one of them?"

It would be so easy to hurt him now. To tell that no, she'd fallen in love with someone else and their child was dead, he'd killed it when he attacked her. He would leave her alone then and her children would never come to his attention.

But even though she hated all the things he'd done, she could not bring himself to hurt him like that. Not only would he probably find out the truth anyway but it was just... He'd lived in the belief that he'd killed her and her child for five years. She could not add to that burden.

"They're... They're twins. I was carrying twins when you... when it happened."

"Twins", Vader repeated in wonder. "A boy and a girl..." She imagined him smiling. "We were both right then."

Vader turned back to the door.

"What are you doing?", Padmé demanded to know.

"I want to see them", Vader said as if that was obvious.

"No", she exclaimed immediately. "No, Anakin - you have no right to see those children! You almost killed them, you, you killed children before - I will _not_ have you go anywhere near them!"

Vader looked at her shocked. "I would never harm our children!"

"I don't believe you", she blurted out and pushed back her blanket to get on her feet.

"You will _not_ go near them. They don't know who you are. They think their father is a Jedi hero who died during the purges and that is going to stay that way! You will not taint the memory of the man I once knew."  
"I'm still the same man, that's what you said!", Vader protested. "You're a Rebel traitor, I am the Emperor's right hand. They're my children, you can't forbid me to see them!"

Padmé had stumbled over to him. She was clutching her hurting rips with one hand, the other grabbed Vader's hand at the door handle.

"No", she growled with all the ferociousness of a mother lion, "but I can die trying."

Vader glanced nervously down at the small red spot that showed at the side of her gown.

"Padmé, don't be stupid. Go back to bed. You're hurting yourself."

"You will not touch my children. You will not lay your eyes on them. You will not speak to them, never, I will not allow it! You do not deserve them, they are mine!"

"They're not your property, Padmé", Vader whispered.

She laughed hollowly. "That's rich, coming from you!"

"They deserve the truth. They deserve to know who I am and they deserve to decide for their own whether or not they want to see me."

"They're five years old! I think I'm a lot more suited to decide what kind of influence to keep from them."

"Padmé, go back to bed", he tried again and pried her fingers from his arm.

"You will not take them from me!", she shouted and started hitting his chest futilely. There were tears burning in her eyes. "They will not become like you, they're good children, they do not belong to you", she sobbed.

Vader grabbed her hands to prevent her from accidentally hitting one of the controls and actually hurting him. Padmé was crying openly now, cursing and threatening him but he felt no more anger at her. She was breaking down in her arms and all he could do was hold her. So that's what he did, he wrapped his arms around her and held her as she fought and clawed and sobbed at him until her whimpers became quiet and she relaxed in his arms slowly.

It was not only the fear of Vader taking away her children that drove Padmé in that moment though. For the past five years she'd passively fought against the Empire but she never got the sense that she was changing something like when she'd been a senator. She had remained hidden for the twins and sometimes, though she would never say it aloud, she resented them for that. She resented the twins for keeping her away from her responsibilities, for forcing her to stay hidden when she really wanted to rear her head and shout at the Empire that _no,_ she would not be silenced.

Sometimes, especially when Luke smiled at her with those glowing blue eyes or when Leia's temper rose like it did in the car with the ice cream, they reminded her so much of their father and his last days of madness that she feared for more than just their lives and she _hated_ them she _hated_ those thoughts because she ought to love her children and she _did,_ she really did but in all those little things of Anakin that she recognized in them she saw the signs of what he became and did that mean that Anakin had always been that monster and she'd just never noticed? And what did that mean for the future of her children?

She knew that the twins felt her unease in those moments. They reacted very differently to it. Luke tried to do everything to please her, he craved every nice word, every pat on his head, every praise she had for him. Like Anakin had craved Palpatine's affection. Leia instead became silent and would glare at her for hours, she'd be stubborn, lacking the vocabulary to argue about what upset her - like Anakin sometimes did when he was angry at Obi-Wan. When Padmé had stayed longer at her job or gave the twins to a babysitter to get away for just a few hours because every time she looked at them she saw _him-_

She couldn't let Vader poison her children but at the same time she was afraid that somehow that seed of the dark side was already in them and that they'd follow on their father's path and there'd be nothing she could do to stop them like she hadn't been able to stop Anakin.

Now that she was wrapped in those heavy leather smelling arms of his with the respirator breathing literally down her neck, Padmé knew she should be afraid. Instead her body relaxed unbidden and she had to suppress the urge to sigh and lay her head on that comforting shoulder. Vader held her for a few more seconds, then he scooped her up like she weighed nothing and carried her back to the bed. She didn't protest, if only because it meant he stepped away from the door and the twins behind it.

As Vader saw her like that, crying, a woman so strong yet so broken and all because of him, he felt all those old emotions rise in him again. Maybe Padmé was right. Maybe he _was_ still the same man, maybe he'd been all along. It wasn't like he hadn't agreed with many of Palpatine's ideas even when he'd still been called Skywalker and evidently his feelings for his wife hadn't changed much. He was still so irrational when it came to her. He'd been filled with worry when he first came here, then with anger when he learned about her involvement with the Rebels. There followed a crushing hopelessness and desperations when she rejected him too, all of which were familiar emotions, emotions he'd carried with him for five years as a Sith. But now, there was joy at learning about his children, compassion for her pain, guilt because of her accusations and longing for her touch. The thick haze of the dark side surrounding his mind began to slowly fade as he remembered what it was like to love her. They were painful, those bright emotions, they burned soul but it was oh so good too to feel that pain that burned like a cleansing fire.

"I want to see my children", Vader said quietly. "I understand your reservations but when you look into your heart you will realize that I would never hurt them."

"I also thought you'd never hurt me", she answered between sobs.

"I'm sorry about that. Really, you have no idea how sorry I am. I thought for so long that I had killed you, my angel. I... I made some really big mistakes that day. But I have learned from them and I can do better now."

He held one of her hands gently and Padmé hated that she couldn't see his eyes through that black mask.

"Let me prove it to you, my love."

"Anakin - no! It's impossible."

"I will not accept no as an answer. What do I have to do to prove it to you?"

"You can't", Padmé returned frustrated. "Anakin, you're unstable. I believe that you wouldn't hurt them on purpose but what if you lose your temper? Children are difficult, they can be loud and annoying and sometimes even cruel and you won't be able to manage that! And what if they get older? What if they decide to be Rebels themselves, hm? Will you hunt them down and arrest them? What if Palpatine tells you to turn them to the dark side or something, will you do it? I can't trust you with their wellbeing and happiness, Anakin, I just can't!"

Vader took a moment to think about it, really think about it. Padmé would not entrust the twins to him, not the way he was now. He knew where her biggest issues lay though. He was an Imperial, she was a Rebel. Of course it would never work. Just like it wouldn't work for them when they were a Jedi and a senator. He remembered that day after she told him she was pregnant. She wanted to go away with him, to the lake country, to Naboo, away from the war, away even from her beloved politics. Then later on Mustafar, she begged him again to leave with her. She'd known what he did in the temple and yet she'd still been willing to come with him. Back then, running had not been an option for him, not before he hadn't learned enough about the dark side to save her from his visions... of course those visions hadn't come true no thanks to him. She'd been right all those years ago. It had just been a nightmare after all. Or maybe, by attacking her and prompting Obi-Wan to bring her to the medical station in time for the birth so she could receive treatment, he had changed fate and indirectly saved her after all? Whatever the cause, Padmé hadn't died and he didn't have to thank the dark side for that.

If she'd been right about that, maybe she'd been right about leaving together too.

"What if we went away together? I could leave the Empire, you leave the Rebellion... Just the four of us, like we said. No politics. No war. Just leave it all behind us, like you wanted."

"Anakin, I can't, I have responsibilities here."  
"I have too. Screw them."

She looked at him incredulously. "You would... You would leave the Empire?"

He bowed his head slightly. "Don't take me wrong, Padmé, I believe in what I do. I believe the Empire is bringing much needed order into the galaxy. Our views on the issue may differ, they always have. But when we first met I was a lowly slave and you a beautiful queen. When we married I was just a Padawan and you were a senator. Now I'm the second most powerful man in the galaxy and you are a fugitive in hiding and you don't want me anymore. Maybe if we both left our titles behind we could be... We could be just Padmé and Anakin again."

"Oh Anakin, if you'd asked me that five years ago, I would've come with you immediately. But the children..." Padmé bit her lip, thinking hard. She couldn't help it, she was a politician and she had to consider the ramification of Vader just up and leaving with her. If she was lost to the Rebellion it wouldn't do much but if he abandoned the Empire... The consequences would be far-reaching.

He didn't deserve that, he didn't deserve a second chance but it wasn't like he was a prisoner she had to judge. She force him to do anything and as it stood he would never receive any punishment for what he did. However, could he be rehabilitated? If she truly did leave with him, if she watched over him, could she help him to find back to the man he once was? Didn't she almost owe it to the Rebellion to at least try so as to get him away from the battlefield? But all of that was irrelevant if she didn't believe that he'd never hurt her children. And even if his regret was true, that still didn't mean she could ever find it in her to love him again and she was afraid of what he'd do to her once he realized that.

Padmé considered all of those factors, all the advantages and disadvantages and they balanced each other out in the end. All that was left was listen to her heart.

And her heart screamed that it wanted its Ani back.

"We'd have to stay hidden from the Empire", Padmé said thickly. She had to at least make him see how _difficult_ and time-consuming this would be. She had to know if he was serious in his offer. "We'd need fake identities and a place to live, somewhere where the twins can go to school. We'd need a house and money and jobs and... Anakin, you've known nothing but war for so many years. You don't even know how to be a normal person anymore. How to enjoy yourself, how to have friends, how to have a purpose other than winning a war."

"Do you?", Vader countered. "It looks to me like you've been busy fighting for what you believe in as well."

"Yes, but I do have friends. I have colleagues and other mothers that I meet with. I have hobbies and I have a job, Anakin I have things to live for other than you. If you were to drop everything and leave the Empire now, what would you have? How many people would support you in your choice? What would you work at?"

"I could find a way", Vader said stubbornly. "I was a hero once, I know how to make friends. I have plenty of abilities that are useful in a job, even a civilians and nobody knows more ways to hide from the Empire than I. I could do it."

Padmé let out a frustrated sigh. "Very well."

Vader looked at her hopeful. "Then you'll come with me?"

"I... I'll come with you", she agreed. "But there are a few things you have to do first."

"What is it? What do you need?", Vader asked immediately.

"You will need to leave the Empire. Officially. I will hand in my resignation too. Then we'll meet again-"  
"I won't leave you-"

"No, Anakin, listen. I need you to leave. I need you to _prove_ to me that you're even _capable_ of leaving me alone when I say that I don't want to see you. We will meet again when we've covered our tracks. I will search for a place to live and you will bring enough money to support us until we've found jobs."

Vader bowed his head. "I want to trust you Padmé, I really want to. But how can I be sure that won't go into hiding again once I leave you?"

"I will give you my promise."

"That is not enough. You broke your word before Padmé, whether you meant to or not. I will agree to your plan but I will take one of the children with me now."

Padmé looked horrified. "Anakin, no! You can't do that!"

"That way I will be sure that you will not hide from me again."  
She shook her head vehemently. "No, think about it. You don't want Palpatine to learn about the children, do you? We'd be so much easier to find. And... I'm sorry but you... You'd scare them, they'd be scared just by looking at you, especially when they're alone with you. You have to get rid of that armor anyway, it's far too distinctive. You... You don't want your children to be scared of you, do you?"

Vader shook his head slowly. "No but still I can't let you go without some sort of reassurance."

Padmé inwardly cursed and sent a silent apology to Bail and Mon.

"Fine, I... I have something I can give you. It's a dataship with a lot of sensitive information about the Rebellion. If... If you have any love for me or the children, you won't read it. But I can give it to you and once we meet again, I'll destroy it."

Vader hesitated but at last he nodded. "That will do."

"It was in a hidden compartment under the driver's seat in the car I crashed. You can retrieve it from there." She looked defeated but Vader didn't feel bad about his demand. He did feel bad about having to leave her through. He had already stayed for too long. It was a small wonder nobody had disturbed them yet, as loud as they'd argued. Vader knew that the trooper tasked with guarding Padmé would keep any unwanted visitors away but he didn't want Rabé to notice his presence here. It would make things hard for Padmé to explain.

This felt like the Clone Wars again, sneaking into her apartment during the night, stealing forbidden kisses... It seemed the hiding would never end but at least they would be together.

"Anakin", Padmé whispered, "There is something you have to realize. Even if we do manage to build a life together for the sake of the children, it does not mean I'll get back together with you. You have done too many things I can't forgive and I don't know if you can ever fully set things right again."

Vader swallowed hard. He didn't know what would be worse, not having Padmé around or having her around but not loving him. Her words but it was a good kind of pain, the one that let him forget the ache in his body and made him feel more human.

Vader took one of her hands and lead it to his mask in a semblance of a kiss. "For the children. I understand."

Vader turned back to the door and Padmé stiffened. The Sith Lord hesitated but then sighed.

"You will introduce them to me in one month." He pressed a commlink into her hand. "Not a single day later. I will contact you when it's time."

She clutched the commlink in her hand, frozen. Was this really happening?

"The Imperials...", she started.

"Do not worry about it. I will make sure that you will remain undisturbed. Still, you should consider moving."

"Of course", she said and swallowed hard.

"I will leave you now... For the children, please... keep your word."

Padmé looked down at the commlink. She had a chance after all. She could take the children and run and Vader would never find her again. He couldn't possibly keep his word, he couldn't possibly change so much, work so hard. Anakin had never been content stuck on the slow path.

But she wouldn't be the one to break her word first.

"Goodbye, Anakin. I'll see you in one month."

Vader nodded to her one last time, then he closed the door behind him. He threw one last look to the door behind which his children played. Then he turned around in the other direction and went to find a healer. He already had a plan to have them implant a tiny tracking chip under Padmé's skin the next time they changed her bandages. He would not lose his wife a second time.

XxX

AN: Bam, there you go! basically, chap 1-3 are a prologue, the stuff you have to do before the real story begins, to set up the stage so to speak.

Welcome to my new fanfiction! I only just got the idea for it and went to upload as I wrote. No promises that it will continue as fast.

This fanfic is operating under a few assumptions:

1.) Vader and Anakin are totally the same person, Vader has just grown a bit bitter. It has only bee five years after all. Give him back his Angel and he's Anakin again, albeit the frustrated, arrogant, morally ambigious Anakin from EP 3 that totally agrees with everything Palpatine does and seems to resent Obi-Wan for no reason. Except that now he has a reason. He knows that this is his absolut last chance he has to get Padmé back and teh last five years have been so miseral for him on a personal level, even as he grew more powerful than ever, that he'd gladly go back to being a slave on tatooine if it meant he had Padmé with him. It's when she rejects him or worse, prefers someone/something else over him that he fully gos up in his Sith ways.

2.) Padmé follows her head first and her heart second. She still lives for her confictions and her loyalties to the Republic, now Rebellion. She prefers her work over spending time with the twins. In that she chose to stay a senator instead of running away with Anakin at the beginning of the Clone Wars I believe she showed that her ideas are more important to her than people she loves. Unfortunately, now teh twins suffer for that. She does not realize it and still tries to be a good mother but she lacks that utter devotion and love to a single person that Anakin is so famous for.

3.)Because Padmé follows her head first, she knows that making Vader run away with her, while it would look like she's betraying the Rebellion, actually would do a great deal to help them. It does run the risk of he playing her and preassuring her for information but even though he's done terrible things, she still trusts that his feeling for her are real and so the possible profits and risks are at a balance. So it's for her heart to decide whether or not to give him a chance and since Vader is acting more and more like Anakin the more she talks to him, she eventually decides that she'll try it.

4.) Padmé has not forgiven Vader, far from it, she still very much disagrees with his path. Vader does not suddenly regret killing the Jedi or start vouching for the Rebellion. He still very much despises them and he believes in the stability the Empire will bring. It will pain him to leave the EMpire and his convictions behind just as much as it pains Padmé. Under tehse circumstances, a relationship between them would never work and they both know it. They are really just doing this for one reason: for the children.

Padmé will not run away from Vader because he would hunt her down and Vader does not try to ikprison Padmé because he himself was separated from his mother as well and would never do that to his children if there was any other way. Also he knows that he can find her and he knows that she knows it. They may not trust or forgive each other but they know the other so well they can trust themselves to predict the other's reactions.

So that's it. They're stuck on the slow path, away from any galaxy changing adventures, facing the biggest challenge yet: Raising a family.

Be ready for twin mischief, awkward Vader trying to be a civilian, Padmé struggeling to be unimportant, the worst married couple arguments ever and oh, pancakes. I haven't wroten any of that yet, by the way. But it sounds fun!

Please review! It really helps!


	4. A new home

AN: Thank you so much for your reviews! The last few chapters ran rather fast. This one describes the first months after Padmé and Vader meet from Padmé's POV. Next one will be Vader's. Enjoy and please review! **  
**

XxX

 **4.) A new home**

The first few days following Vader's visit could only be described as hectic for Padmé. As it turned out, the Sith Lord's visit to her hospital room had _not_ gone as unnoticed as she would've liked. Rabé had seen him leave and of course, dear friend that she was, she had called Bail Organa immediately, afraid for her life. She didn't know who Vader really was and of course she had to assume he was only there because of her position in the Rebellion.

Padmé did not refute her story. When she was released from the hospital three days later, three days in which Imperial security around the hospital had been tripled (so very subtle, Ani, she'd thought), Bail offered to help her go into hiding.

Reluctantly, she agreed. Padmé packed all her things, took her leave from all the friends she'd made as well as her superiors in the Rebellion. Her official story was that Vader had come to ask her question about the Rebellion but during to the fact that she was in hospital and he had no proof, she had evaded immediate danger. Now however she had to vanish. She took the children and accepted the offer of a small transport bringing her to the Rebel base on Dantooine.

When they arrived at the space port the escort Bail sent with her for protection had almost turned around at seeing how tightly packed it was with Stormtroopers. They'd been convinced it was a trap since such a presence was not at all usual. But Padmé did not dare stay any longer in case the Rebellion would push her deeper into hiding on Alderaan and she'd never be able to leave without arising suspicion. So she'd gone anyway. The guards hadn't even blinked at her (not that she'd have been able to tell) but they searched every single one of her male guards thoroughly. The troopers were not here searching for her, she realized. But who could they be searching for? It couldn't be a coincidence that the troopers guarded the same space port she was to use. She was almost certain Vader had her monitored.

But the trooper left them through and the ship made its way to Dantooine without incident.

Luke and Leia were not too happy about leaving their familiar environment behind but the former was excited about getting to travel the stars and the latter was somewhat mollified when Padmé promised she'd have more time for them now that she left her old job behind.

Padmé never planned to stay on Dantooine for long. The base was a military one and no place for children to grow up. She researched several planets outside of the Empire's immediate influence where she could build a new home during the next few weeks. Surprisingly, Leia insisted on helping her and so the two spend hours in front of the holonet looking at pictures of landscapes and cities while Luke played with the soldiers and somehow charmed them into letting him use the flight simulator.

Eventually Padmé decided on a planet and was busy finding a place to live and maybe even a job already when she got an unexpected visitor.

It was none other than Obi-Wan Kenobi.

She saw him talking to Luke one day when she went to retrieve him for dinner. For some reason, seeing the Jedi (gods, he looked old!) smiling fondly down at the little five-year old while Luke imitated an X-wing by running in circles with his arms stretched out made Padmés protective mother instincts raise their head.

"Luke", she called him over sharply. "Come over here, honey."

Luke immediately stopped his antics and ducked his head, sensing that her tone meant trouble. Obi-Wan turned to look at her. His smile had vanished to make room for a serious expression.

Luke hurried to come over to her and immediately defended himself:  
"I was just talking to the old man, Mama. He says he flew in a Delta-6- Sprite class starfighter once! During a _real_ space battle!"

"That's nice Luke", Padmé said, suddenly feeling a bit guilty for snapping at him. She got down to her knees so she was at his eye level and took his hands. "I'm glad you're learning so many new things. Now please go and help Leia to get the dinner table set, will you? I'll be with you shortly."

Luke grinned in relief. "Alright, will do", he promised and with a careless "Bye" to the Jedi, he was gone.

"He loves his ships. It's refreshing to see such enthusiasm in a child", Obi-Wan said once she turned her attention back to her.

But Padmé wasn't in the mood for small talk. She hadn't seen Obi-Wan in years and there was a reason for that. At the beginning it had comforted her to have a friend with her as she integrated into the Republic but as she began to get to terms with her husband's supposed death, his presence only served to remind her of why she'd lost him. She had tried really hard not to blame Obi-Wan for his demise but it was hard. And now, with the memory of Vader roaring at her how Obi-Wan had mutilated him so he was forever stuck in that monstrous life-support-suit... Vader may be to blame for the path he chose but Padmé couldn't help but wonder if Obi-Wan's actions didn't play a large part in why he stayed on that path for so long.

"You shouldn't have come here, Obi-Wan", she said calmly, trying not to sound too cold.

"I didn't mean to. I was quite comfortable in my exile but... I was worried about you when I heard you'd left Alderaan."

Padmé didn't show a reaction but inwardly, she sighed and wondered which one of her friends had contacted the Jedi.

"I am fine, as you can see."

"But is it true? Is it true that Vader came to Alderaan?"

Great, now she had to lie to him. Except he would see through every lie so there really wasn't a point.

"It is true", she admitted at last. "It's why I left. I didn't want him to find my connection to the Rebels."

There, that wasn't a complete lie. She certainly didn't want him to find out she'd gone to Dantooine, especially since it was only a temporally solution.

"Were you able to leave the planet in time? He didn't get anywhere near you?"

Padmé could hear it in his voice then. He already knew. He already knew Vader had visited her in the hospital. He was testing her. He was suspecting she might lie to him... Like she'd lied to him before she went to Mustafar.

"No, I did not get away in time. I had an accident and was in a hospital when he showed up. He questioned me about the Rebellion and about you. I didn't tell him anything about my work with the Rebels and truthfully told him I hadn't seen you in years. Then he left." Well, she hadn't _told_ him anything about the Rebellion, just given him a datastick with enough information to wipe out half their armed forces.

Only her diplomatic training enabled her to keep a straight face.

Obi-Wan looked very worried at this point. "Did he hurt you, Padmé? What about the children? He didn't see them, did he?"

His concern was more than just strategically. And why did he ask if Vader saw her children? Unless... Suddenly, fury rose in her heart and she was unable to keep it off her face completely.

"You knew, didn't you? You knew who Vader was, who we was all that time under that mask. You knew and you never told me."

Obi-Wan paled at her obvious rage, though she still kept it cold and controlled.

"I am sorry Padmé. I truly am. But it wouldn't have done you any good to know. Anakin is dead."

"But he is not!", she hissed, mindful that they weren't alone even though the hall was rather spacious. "He is not, he's out there, killing people, Rebels, _my people_ and you _never told me!"_

True pain flashed over his face. "That person is not Anakin. Not anymore."

She should stop talking now, just stop and leave because under no circumstances could she tell him of Vader's offer but still, she couldn't let that stand like that.

"If there was nothing left of Anakin in him anymore, then why am I still alive? He let me go, Obi-Wan. He knew I was with the Rebels but he let me go. You never thought he would, did you? You never thought there might be good left in him after all."

Obi-Wan looked at her gravely and dare she say, with pity.

"Padmé, an unhealthy obsession with a single person is not equivalent with goodness. He does not love you. Sith are incapable of love, they know only want."

That was the biggest bullshit Padmé had ever heart. She _knew_ Anakin had loved her and a person didn't simply loose all their capability of such a great emotion overnight. There might be sociopaths born without the ability to feel empathy but Anakin was far from being such a person. On the opposite, his entire being was defined by his emotions. That was kind of the problem, that at times, he'd loved her too much.

It hadn't been _want_ that had motivated Anakin as a mere slave boy to help out a graying Jedi and a young handmaiden, it hadn't been _want_ that made him risk expulsion from the Jedi order by trying to rescue his mother after not having seen her for years. It hadn't been _want_ that made him marry her, making her an honorable woman when he could've simply taken her as a lover. The gods knew she wouldn't have been able to resist him if he'd tried. I wasn't even _want_ that made him support the Chancellor in his mad quest to eradicate the Jedi, at least she didn't think so. He'd done that because he thought his _new powers_ would help him save her. He'd been deluded, he'd been desperate, he'd been stupid but ultimately, he'd done it out of compassion.

He was a good man... a good man with little patience and no restraints who'd had a vicious old man whisper in his ears how he was right to overpower and eventually kill those deemed of lesser worth for close to twenty years. And by the gods, she was defending him, wasn't she?

"I know how dangerous he is, Obi-Wan", Padmé said coldly. "I am not stupid. That's why I left Alderaan as soon as I could. I do not think he knows that I recognized him and I do not thinks he wants to be reminded of his past. Still, I am not going to provoke him into changing his mind, if only so the children will be save from him. I plan to go into hiding and I ask you not to enquire for my whereabouts. Any connection to you would only put my family in danger."

Her coldness had hurt him, she could see that. His next words were hesitant:

"I was hoping you'd allow me to accompany you. I could protect you from Vader."

"No", she said maybe a bit too fast. "No", she repeated calmer. "That is not a good idea. He hates you Obi-Wan, he really does and the two of us will be easier to find if we're together."

"There are plenty of Outer Rim worlds where no Imperial ever sets a foot on..."  
"I do not want to raise Luke and Leia in exile where they never have any human contact other than myself. No, we need to be away from the war but still in a hospitable, child-friendly environment. You can't come with us."

"They will never learn about the Force then. They're Anakin's children, they ought to be strong in it."

"You are right. They are never going to learn it. And that is good", she whispered.

During their exchange, Obi-Wan seemed to age another ten years and at her final rebuttal, his shoulders slumped and he lowered his eyes.

"If that is what you wish", he said. "The decision is up to you."  
"And my decision is made. Please refrain from giving Luke any more ideas. I'd prefer it if you kept your distance from him. From both of them."

He smiled sadly at her. "We used to be friends, Padmé. You used to be happy every time we met. What happened?"  
"You destroyed my family", she answered simply. Then she turned around and left.

Obi-Wan didn't try to talk to her during the next two weeks. After she departed from Dantooine though he investigated her quarters and downloaded the course of her holonet search with a complete list of _hospitable, child-friendly_ planets.

XxX

Tascow was a humid planet largely covered with swamps, oceans and jungle. Colonists had arrived on it around two hundred years ago and started to explore the variety of species in both fauna and flora for medical purposes. Large quantities of land had been cleared for agriculture and the first cities had developed.

Aside from the settlers, who were a group of different species from all across the galaxy, Tascow was also inhabited by two indigenous species. There were the Oklaf, an aquatic bipedal race that often came out to wander the swaps but stayed near water and the Drudsesh, a reptilian race with great leathery wings instead of arms and clawed hands instead of feet. Neither species was very technologically advanced and they both had a tribal culture but they were undoubtedly intelligent and some of them had even come to live in the cities of the settlers.

When Padmé Naberrie first arrived on the planet together with her children, she only had a few hundred credits, a bag with spare clothes, Vader's commlink and a small piece of flimsy with her with the address of one Imvat Lourt. She'd had brief, somewhat hurried written contact with the woman who was willing to rent out the upper floor of her house to her family.

Imvat didn't ask many questions and she'd been able to convince her to lower the price for the flat quite a bit. Plus, she didn't demand she hand in official registration with the administration of Tastan City, which was where the apartment was located. That was especially important since Padmé's identification was fake. However, using the rental agreement, which was proof that she had immigrated to Tascow, she could apply for a new identification in Tastan City, thus tricking the system of city-states into granting her a new legal passport. She briefly considered using this chance to change her name but in the end decided that Naberrie really wasn't that well known a name and her first name was actually quite common. Plus, it held a great sentimental value.

Padmé hoped that eventually she'd be able to get back into politics. She would be able to rise as high as council member in the city and still be completely unimportant in the eyes of the Empire. Of course, as a new immigrant she would hardly be trusted with such a position right away so instead she decided she wanted to try her hand at teaching. Her money would only last her for a few months so she had to find a job fast but in a growing settlement there was always a need for teachers.

Thus it was with fresh hope that she rang the bell to Number 89, Cloudfield Street.

The house itself was rather new. With just two floors it was smaller than she was used to on Coruscant or Naboo but that was to be expected on a planet with so much room there was no need to squeeze everything together into skyscrapers. It had a rather large garden in which she could see various vegetables grow in orderly lines as well as a few fruit trees.

"This looks rather nice, doesn't it?", she said to her children while she waited for the door to be answered. "You'll like it here, you'll see."  
"Do the neighbors have any children, Mama?", Leia wanted to know.

"I don't know honey, but we'll soon find out."

The door was opened rather abruptly and a very impatient and heavily accented voice snapped: "What?!"

If Padmé hadn't been such a well-trained diplomat, she'd have gaped.

Unfortunately, her children didn't have such training.

"Mama!", Luke said giggling, "it's a pig!"

"Shush, Luke", Padmé hissed, silently horrified.

"Please excuse my son. Hello, my name is Padmé Naberrie, I've written to you about the flat", she said with a smile and held out her hand for the six feet big Gamorrean.

"Oh, this you. Why didn't you say so?", the pig-faced alien with enough muscles (or fat?) on his (or her?) rips to feed a Hutt for a whole week said with a snarl.

"Come in, come in!"

Padmé was appalled by the accent and tone of speech displayed here, not to mention the expression stuck between permanent scowl and hungry grin. She had to remind herself that Gamorreans had difficulties pronouncing many words in basic and it was a feat for this one to be able to say even this much.

However, when she came inside and five little pig-faced menaces came running down the corridor chasing a sixth one and making one hell of squeaking noise, Padmé started to question her decision to come here.

"Well, that answers the question of neighboring children", she murmured.

However, her first expression of her landlady - for she was indeed Imvat Lourt, matriarch of the Lourt family - was misleading. The flat she showed her was clean with a lot of space, three bedrooms and all the necessary furniture already there - though she found the pink curtains quite disgusting.

Imvat herself appeared a bit gruff at the beginning but Padmé made an effort to be polite. Apparently, the Gamorrean wasn't used to respect from a human. She showed herself surprised but while the children were busy arguing over who got to sleep on the top bed and who on the bottom one, she got to know her a bit better.

Gamorreans lived in tribes where females held the authority. Imvat was quite the clever female (though that didn't mean much given her species) and had used her inherited money to buy passage to Tascow. Here, she was able to grow all the food she needed for her children in her garden while her husband worked as a security guard for the caravans transporting goods to other cities. She would only rent out the upper floor for Padmé for two years as she'd need the space for her brood later on but that was fine with her. She hoped to earn enough money to be able to afford a bigger place soon anyway.

Padmé set up the rent agreement (which Imvat signed by spitting on it) and then went to see what her children were up to.

The argument on who got to sleep on top apparently had evolved into an all out pillow fight.

Once all the feathers had been stuck back into the pillows, Padmé prepared some fast lunch. There was still so much to do. She had to go buy groceries, find a school for the twins, find work for herself, get the layout for the city... she needed a computer and access to the holonet.

Thus it was that the former Senator took the twins and went shopping. She was lucky enough to pass a hardware store on her way back.

Once in the shop, Luke and Leia went to look for various holo games while she wandered around looking for a datapad, something to browse the net as well as to store data but cheap and not too fancy.

It was then that a line of overhead-projectors switching between documentaries, picture slide shows and news channels briefly showed the latter.

From over twenty monitors, a black mask under a domed helmet suddenly stared at her. The intergalactic channel Imperial One showed the latest news - the news of Darth Vader, enforcer of Imperial law and order, tragically dying during a raid on Quesh.

Darth Vader was dead. His body was found, the date for his funeral set, the Emperor would hold a speech and everything - Darth Vader was dead. Her husband, Anakin, was dead.

Padmé looked back to the twins who were getting excited over some game or other with big smiles on their faces. She thought about all she'd done in this short time to get here, to set up this place. And now he was dead. She didn't even know if she ought to be relieved or... or not.

"Ma'am?", the sales assistants asked her. "Do you want to buy that datapad or do you still need time to decide?"

Padmé hadn't even been sure if she really would call him or not, she'd had half the mind to never tell him where they were, Rebellion be damned - and now she never would have to make that choice.

"I... I still need time", she choked out. "Luke, Leia, come!"

She hurried out of the shop without turning to see if the children where following.

"Mama! Is something wrong?", Luke wanted to know once they had caught up with her.

Padmé didn't answer. She hurried away from that cursed shop, almost running even. Her children called for her again and she stopped abruptly in the middle of the sidewalk, whirled around and cooped the two shocked twins up in a hug that served to reassure them as much as it served to hide her tears.

"It's gonna be alright, my sweet children. It's gonna be alright. You'll like it here. It's gonna be alright."

Maybe if she just said it often enough, it would come true.

Meanwhile, on a distant planet hundreds of light years away from Tascow, someone else was watching the news as well. Darth Vader sneered at the poor display of fake grief in the audience of his so-called funeral. Hypocrites, all of them. He didn't care for their tears.

"My Lord", the mechanical voice of a droid hovering up behind him called out, "we are ready for your operation now."

Vader turned off the datapad and took a moment to gaze at the reflection of his masked face in the smooth black surface. If he survived the night, it would be the last time he'd have to look at it.

"Let us commence then", he said coldly.

He would not look back. There was nothing lying behind him but ashes and blood.


	5. All that matters

**5\. All that matters**

Darth Vader had missed the negotiations on Alderaan. Actually, he completely forgot about them. The respective Moff was not very pleased, seeing as he had no spine and let himself be pushed around even by a peace-loving politician like Bail Organa.

The Moff even had the nerve to rant at him about missing out on the meeting and not even having a valid reason for it - such as discovering Rebel cells on the planet that would've given him an excuse to take control from the local government.

Vader choked him with the Force until there was no air left in his lungs and only then allowed him to fall to the ground like the pitiful meat bag he was.

For the rest of the day he locked himself in his personal quarters on his flagship and diligently watched the little blip that was Padmé move on the holographic map. He'd ordered a sizable amount of his men to watch the spaceports and look out for her. Not to arrest her - he didn't expect her to stay on Alderaan, she'd said she wanted to find a new place after all - but to see who accompanied her.

Vader wanted to believe Padmé would keep her word but he very, very much doubted it. She had lied to him before, lied to his face and if he hadn't noticed them on his own, she wouldn't have even told him of the children, she would've left him in the belief that he'd killed them...

Something ugly curled in his stomach at the thought. His unborn child had always been a vague concept to him. His grief over Padmé's death had overshadowed everything else. But if she survived yet the child, the _children_ did not... She would've had all the reason she needed to hate him. He could've understood that, maybe accepted it. But the children were alive, the twins were well and... well, twins. He couldn't help but feel a little smug at that. Twins! Ha!

Anyway. He didn't trust Padmé to not just take them and hide. That's why he had the healers implant her with a tracking chip. Also, he suspected she would get help in trying to hide or maybe even get him killed and that was the reason he had her watched so hard. He wanted to know if Obi-Wan would appear.

Familiar anger reared its head in his chest at the mere thought of the Jedi. He didn't believe that he'd kept his distance from Padmé. In fact, when he'd wondered for a moment if maybe those children weren't his, if maybe Padmé had found another... Obi-Wan's face had been the first to flash through his mind and the raging jealously had almost thrown him into another fit.

So that was why, after leaving Padmé's room, he'd ordered one of his men to get him a blood sample of the two children, both of which had been hurt in the accident. He didn't know what he expected the result to be. The twins were the right age to be his and none of them had red hair so that was something... Padmé wouldn't have gotten pregnant immediately after losing their child, would she? Except if she'd been seeing Obi-Wan in secret behind his back even before Anakin became Vader. Or maybe she wanted to take revenge on him and purposefully flung herself at Obi-Wan after he'd almost killed her...!

Black rage and jealously almost consumed the Dark Lord. He summoned a dozen training droids and unleashed his fury on them, hacking away at them with no care for his own defense. When he was done he was wheezing hard with several cuts and scorch marks on his armor.

Which was probably all too well because not soon after, the Emperor called and wanted to know why he hadn't attended the meeting. Vader excused himself and said his injuries from the previous battle had been more severe than he'd thought and he'd had to spend an extra day healing. It was a terrible humiliation having to admit to such weakness, especially when it was a lie but his visible exhaustion lend credibility to the story and he didn't sense any suspicion from Sidious.

When he was done, Vader's anger at Obi-Wan was even greater than before, seeing as he had to admit weakness in front of his Master because of them. If he found just a single sign that Padmé and Obi-Wan had betrayed him...

But then in the evening came the results from the blood test.

Luke and Leia Naberrie were his children. Well, the probability was 99,98%... There was still a very small chance that they weren't... But even Vader had to accept that this probably meant the two didn't have an affair. That didn't mean they couldn't have one now of course but when his men reported back that Padmé had left the planet and nobody that looked like Obi-Wan had accompanied her, his anger cooled just a little bit.

That night, watching Padmé's little blip travel across the stars, he allowed himself the first true sliver of hope.

Could he really be with her again? Could it be like when they first kissed on that beautiful day on Naboo? No more Jedi, no more Sith, no more burden to carry. Just freedom?

He sneered. Freedom was a lie. Even if Padmé would keep her word, even if they managed to hide from the Rebellion as well as from the Empire, he wouldn't be free. He would never be able to reveal his abilities, his name, his past to anyone. He'd be imprisoned in a fake identity. He would have to swallow pride and humiliation and honor since he could not reveal his abilities in fighting back. He'd have to basically submit to every low-life he encountered.

He'd go from Dark Lord of the Sith back to slave boy.

 _But Padmé would be with him._

No she wouldn't, not really. She'd said she didn't forgive him, she might never take him back. She wasn't doing this for him, she didn't want him, she only did this for the children.

And that's what it all came down to. The moment she'd seen them, the children had become real for Vader, no longer a vague concept. That Padmé wanted to keep them from him, didn't even want him to see them was outrageous. He had as much right to see them as she did, if not more so! It wasn't like she had the power to forbid him anything anyway! Except she'd been willing to hurt herself in a twisted attempt to protect them from him and she hadn't even hesitated. It had reminded him of his mother who'd had to protect him plenty of times when he'd been very little.

At the same time, when Padmé spoke of the twins so passionately, it had appeared as if she only viewed them as possessions and would keep him from them out of spite. The twins deserved to get to know him as much as he did, regardless of what Padmé thought. Vader had grown up without a father himself after all and he knew he always wished he had one. _His_ children would never wonder who their father was and neither would they be filled delusions about a man that no longer existed. It was _important_ that they knew and if he had to sacrifice his pride and freedom to make sure he played a part in their lives that really, what was the alternative? He could force the three to come with him of course but if he did he killed every possibility of Padmé ever accepting him back. The children might grow up to love him but she wouldn't. Maybe he would have a chance with her if he deserted and joined the Rebellion, if he became the foolish hero again she fell in love with... But Vader couldn't do that. The mere thought of it almost made him throw up. He _hated_ the Rebellion. Even if he could bring himself to join them he could never go through with it. His identity would come out eventually and then all would be ruined.

No, this compromise was his only real chance to keep both his wife and his children with him.

But only _if_ Padmé was serious about her offer.

Darth Vader spend the night in a bacta tank recuperating from his own recklessness and meditating on his anger and pain. The dark side strengthened him and gave him back the cold control he'd almost lost with his wife the day before. When he awoke again he felt refreshed and was determined to begin making plans.

His resolve was tested just an hour later when he checked on Padmé's position and found her to be on Dantooine. The planet was as good as abandoned. It certainly wasn't a place you would raise children on. There was only one reason why she would go there and that was because Dantooine held a Rebel base.

Vader activated his commlink and was just about to tell his men to prepare for another raid - but then stopped.

This didn't necessarily have to mean that Padmé betrayed him already. They had agreed to wait one month. She had left immediately so the Empire wouldn't catch her, which was perfectly reasonable given her position but if she needed time to find a proper place, it would make sense to seek refuge with the Rebels one last time.

He could use this of course. He could raid the base, either now or just give the Empire a tip after he met up with Padmé.

However, it was also entirely possible that Padmé was laughing at him right now for being so foolish and she never attempted to go away with him.

Padmé had demanded he give up his position in the Empire. He would need time to do that though. If he used this month to sever his ties to his Master, he wouldn't be in a position to conquer the base if it turned out Padmé was just hiding with the Rebels. If he waited however and she was honest in her desire to run away with him, she would probably change her mind if she found out he'd done nothing but waiting for a chance to attack her... 'friends'.

His hand lingered on his commlink. He could call her. He could ask her where she was. Would she answer? Would she answer truthfully? It didn't matter. Even if she was dishonest, she could just lie to him. Or she could be honest and he still wouldn't trust her.

The decision weighed so heavy on him, Vader wished he could go and ask his Master for advice. Palpatine always knew what to do. He couldn't do that now though... But he could ask the Force.

So Vader went back to meditating. This time, he didn't bother channeling his emotions to strengthen himself. Instead, he focused the currents of the dark side and before long he glimpsed fast moving pictures of battle and bloodshed speed by. He couldn't leave the Empire now! There were Jedi to hunt, Rebels to kill, the entire Empire would fall to chaos and civil war if he left now! He couldn't, he mustn't, there was blood to be shed, blood, blood, _blood!_

Vader drew back from the Force with ragged breaths. Everything he'd worked for, everything he'd fought for, bled for, burned for... It would all be gone before long if he left now.

 _But Padmé, what about Padmé?_

He knew the risk of abandoning the Empire. He was one of only two Sith Lords after all and he was perfectly aware what his betrayal would do to everything he held onto. But the dark side showed him no indication of what would happen to his family if he left.

He knew what he had to do to get his answers. But he was oh so very reluctant. If he did this, it was practically the first step to betrayal already.

Vader sighed deeply. He really hoped his children would appreciated the things he did for them one day.

And so Vader closed his eyes and for the first time in five years he listened to the entirety of the Force. He ignored the raging call of the dark side and instead searched for that very small and distant blip that reminded him of his time with his wife, so full of love and warmth and _light._

 _Safe, warm, embrace, beautiful, come here child, stay with me, you're welcome, you're forgiven-_

Vader drew back with a snarl and felt it itching in his hands to draw his lightsaber. Weakness, betrayal, lies! The promises of the light side were as insidious as those of the dark but they were always empty in the end. Still... when the dark side told him to ignore his family, to sacrifice them for his own greatness... this was the only place he could find answers to the opposite. And so, the Dark Lord immersed himself in the Force once more...

It was difficult to grasp the meaning of the blurred images he saw now. The dark side cast a shadow over everything. Calling it images would be faulty itself, it was more a feeling, like whispered words. There was a little island in the middle of the raging black storm and it was calm there and warm. It wasn't always peaceful and it wasn't always safe but it was far away and hidden well. He could go there and he'd have his own struggles but there wouldn't be any blood. The storm would be raging on through, on and on and on and some day, it would swallow the little island.

Going with Padmé would be a temporal solution at best. He could hide from the dark, run from it and recuperate in its shadow but he was not yet done with this galaxy and the Force would demand his presence again.

Vader opened his eyes again. He still wasn't any smarter about what the future held for him but there _was_ an island, there _was_ a place he could hide even if just for a short time. That meant Padmé had been honest to him and that was all he'd wanted to know.

Vader stood from where he'd sat in his hyperbaric chamber and promptly sat down again when currents of pain shot up through the stumps of his arms and legs. However briefly his connection to the dark side had wavered, it had been enough for him to lose the tight hold he had over his physical grievances. He drew upon the dark side again to channel that pain into strength but it took him several minutes until he felt confident enough to stand unaided again.

If Vader wanted to leave his Master and not be hunted down in return, he knew there was only one way. He had to fake his death and he had to do it very convincingly. There were other preparations he had to take and he did so for the next two weeks. He took regular missions for the Empire again that largely had to do with controlling the crime bosses that were still in charge of many Outer Rim planets. He put aside small amounts of money from the confiscated goods and spread his own accounts to several different neutral banks, anonymous with a series of tests and conditions for those who wanted to access it. Vader had known that his alliance with Sidious wouldn't last forever from the very beginning so he'd set up a safe house where he now moved several pieces of spacecraft and droids into that he might need later on.

Then he turned to the problem of his suit. It was too distinguished and if he ever wanted to hide successfully, it had to go. So Vader used every free minute he got to start building himself less bulky artificial limbs, ones that he could actually fit real clothing over. He discovered a clinic with an advanced development department and hired them to grow synthetic skin over the limbs for a small fortune. Then he scheduled a major operation for a lung transplantation, bribing around thirty people and killing two just to make sure it would go over fast and discreetly. He couldn't afford to have all his internal organs transplanted, the danger of rejection was too great but he had cybernetics wiring themselves through his whole torso, including an internalized drug pump that supplied him with the necessary chemicals every hour. The pump sat where his stomach used to be. He didn't need a stomach as his intestines had a small tube with a metal opening at his hip where a nutrient solution could be put in that provided him with everything he needed.

Getting his drugs and nutrient solutions would be the hardest part during a life in hiding since the stuff he needed was pretty specific but he would worry about that when he knew which planet he ended up on.

Another few days passed before Vader came upon the chance he'd been waiting for. Imperial spies had discovered a lead on a Jedi hiding on Kashyyyk. Vader set out together with his men. The battle to conquer the Wookie village high in the trees was short and brutal. Vader didn't care for the furry warriors he cut through. They didn't matter, only his goal did. The Jedi were enemies of the Empire, relicts of an order he despised but he had a reason other than hatred to hunt down this one.

The Jedi - Vader had never bothered to find out his name - did not move to help the Wookies as dozens of them were killed. He stayed hidden in one of the huts and Vader sneered at his cowardice. At last he was forced to face him. Vader had his fun crossing blades with him, smashing him around with the Force and when at last he held him in a choke hold, it was Obi-Wan's face he saw under the brown hood. Darth Vader stood there, one hand holding up the Jedi, the other grasping his lightsaber. Suddenly however his weapon was pulled out of his hand and his head snapped around to see a child catching the saber he'd summoned, staring at him with wide eyes.

"No... run away!", the Jedi coughed and it twitched in Vader's fingers to snap his neck. Instead he let the Jedi drop to the ground.

"Stun him", he told his men with a glance over his shoulder and before the Jedi could get back on his feet again, he was hit by half a dozen stun bolts.

The child took a fearful step back but continued to stare at Vader.

The Dark Lord looked back at the boy and for a moment he saw his own son standing there. Was that how his family would end one day if he went into hiding with Padmé? Would he be killed trying to protect his children and the twins would be killed or worse, forced into the service of the Empire because of their Force-sensitivity?

Vader summoned his lightsaber back to him just as the Stormtroopers readied their weapons to dispose of the young witness. However, the Dark Lord raised his hand and motioned for them to stop.

"Didn't you hear your father?", he asked the boy. "Run."

The child took another two fearful steps back before he turned around and ran.

"Sir", the leading officer said from behind him, "shouldn't we go after him? Sir?"

Vader made an almost unnoticeable motion with his hand and the officer in question began to choke and claw at his own throat. It took an entire minute for him to die, the eyes slowly bulging out, the face becoming blue until eventually Vader grew impatient and snapped the man's neck with a twist of his wrist.

"Take the prisoner to the cells", he told the Stormtroopers, "and forget what you saw here."

"Yes Sir", they replied unflinchingly and moved to drag the Jedi with them.

For the next few days, Vader excused himself from any missions for his Master because he wanted to 'interrogate' the captured Jedi for connections to the Rebels.

Personally, Vader didn't enjoy torture unless the person had personally wronged him, threatened the Empire, his Master or his men or if it was just generally a pathetic person. Luckily he had droids and employees who could take some of the work off him so when he did go to torture a prisoner... he almost always enjoyed it.

With this Jedi though it was different. He normally wouldn't have captured him, his death would've been enough. He saw too many similarities between weak, stupid little Anakin and this man who hid from the Empire and raised his child in secret. But Vader needed this Jedi to suffer for his plans, he needed him to suffer as much as he had.

And so he drugged him and whipped him and humiliated him, he cut off his arms and legs with his lightsaber, he crushed his lungs with the Force and threw him into a metal box filled with molten metal. And then, when he lay there burning and almost dead, and screaming at him in pain and anger and desperation, he told him how he'd killed the child found in the hut, how he'd stabbed him with his lightsaber like he did with all of his Wookie friends.

And the nameless Jedi lay there with his blood cooking and his skin breaking away from his flesh and his hatred fed the dark side until it was so thick Vader could smell it even through his respirator.

"Yes, channel your anger, your hatred... You feel the dark side shouting at you, don't you?", Vader said calmly, looking down at the Jedi that lay on the operation table, being kept alive only by his hatred.

"The dark side gives you power. It is all you really need. The power to conquer the Force, the power to conquer life. Your son is not lost forever. If you learn about the dark side, you can learn how to bring back those who are dead. You can have the power to save your son... and to get revenge on me."

And the Jedi gasped at him a single word: "How?"

Under his mask, Vader smiled. "I will show you."

And he did. He ordered the droids to fit the Jedi into a replica of his own life support suit. He trained him, he showed him how to use the dark side to channel the pain and hatred. The Jedi tried to kill him every time they sparred but Vader had years of experience and raw power over him and defeated him every time. It only served to make the Jedi work harder.

Near the end of the month, Vader looked at the missions that had piled up for him and picked out a raid of a rebel base that suited him. He went to the nameless Jedi with it and told him that this would be his first true test and if he completed it to his satisfaction, he would start teaching him how to reach his dead son.

There was no such knowledge of course. Nobody knew how to bring back the dead, not Vader, not Sidious nor any other Sith. It was a lie that had been told to Vader to make him obey but by the time he had committed himself to the Sith, he had no longer cared.

This Jedi still cared and he accepted the mission to Quesh eagerly. He was told to pretend to be Darth Vader as he himself was busy elsewhere more and more often but still had to keep up with his mission for the Empire to see him.

The planet Quesh was known for its poisonous atmosphere. Every human who wanted to go there had to wear a gas mask. With the respirator, neither Vader nor the nameless Jedi needed one but what he didn't know was that Vader had personally constructed this respirator and it held a tiny flaw disguised as age-related wear that resulted in him slowly getting poisoned.

Lacking the experience and training of a true Sith Lord as well as being riddled with poison slowly filling his damaged lungs, the Jedi soon succumbed to the attacks of the Rebels.

Meanwhile, Vader had already made his way to the medical facility he had prepared for the transplantation needed to rid him of the suit. He spend two days in deep meditation after he ordered his tool to go on the mission, pretending to be him. During those two days, he immersed himself deeper in the dark side than he'd ever before. He relived the days of torture, everything done to him and everything he'd done to others and the moment he felt his tool die, he completed one of the most difficult Jedi challenges that he'd never mastered completely, even as Skywalker. He let go of all of his anger, all his fear and pain and suffering, all his hatred and worry and frustration. He catapulted it all out there, not because he denied it but because it was no use to him where he intended to go.

500 light years away, Darth Sidious felt his bond to his apprentice snap abruptly as the Force exploded in darkness. It sent waves of suffering and pain thorough the whole galaxy but just as quickly as it had come, the waves abated and what was left behind was no longer the utter blackness that he'd fought so long to archive but rather a murky gray that clouded his vision.

Darth Vader stood from his meditation, his eyes behind the black mask blue for the first time in years. Pain started to ache in his stumps again but he pushed it aside easily. He felt calm and refreshed and more peaceful than ever. Padmé awaited him. His future awaited him.

He did not spare a single thought for the charred corpse that was once a Jedi that was being recovered by Stormtroopers from Quesh this very moment or the little boy he'd robbed of his father or all the other people, men women and children he'd killed. All that blood belonged to another person in a past that no longer mattered.

All that mattered was his angel.

XxX

AN: Alright, wow that chapter was tough.

First things first, I know the whole deal of Kashyyk happened more like two years or something after ROTS but it fit in here so great I played a little with the canon timeline to make it fit. The ones of you who are familiar with my writing know that I love that story. The ones who don't recognize it at all, don't worry, it's not likely to be of any major importance. This time around.

So, Vader is still an asshole of a Sith after learning Padmé is dead. He's still brutal and deadly (because his wife doesn't have to know, right?) and what's even more important, he can even go back to using the light side of the Force and simutanously 1) despise it and 2)not miracouously turn good from doing so.

In my fanfic, using the light side merely means being at peace with yourself and being in full control of your emotions to the point where you don't let them influence your decisions and actions. Since Vader does not think he's done anything wrong (at least nothing that would warrant the suffering he's gone through and so ergo, he must be forgiven for any innocnet children he may have murdered because he already payed for that) he is perfectly at peace with himself if he allows himself to be. Also, discarding his anger and hatred because he needs to keep his presence hidden so Sidious will be convinced he's dead is a far more valid reason for him to do so than all the stupid Jedi teachings. Not that there were a lot of Jedi who did a lot of arguably bad or outright evil thinks, mostly by looking the other way when people suffered and they were still perfectly light side because they were able to justify their inaction in some way.

In short, the ability to reject the dark side and go back to the light has always been in him, both as Anakin and as Vader. He just never saw any real reason to do that. This time it's his decision and it has a perfectly practical reason so he was able to accomplish what all the Jedi before him thought impossible.

Note how this does not make him a good person. At all. Actually, it may even make him an even bigger asshole. Padmé has a lot of work to do yet...


	6. The children are home

**6\. The children are home**

Padmé woke up from a soft chiming sound around two o'clock in the morning. She had half a mind to just roll over and go back to sleep, Surely whatever the twins were up to now could wait a few hours? But the chiming didn't stop and after some time she noticed it came from her nightstand. Confused she reached blindly for it, pulled open the drawer - and froze.

It was Vader's commlink.

But that was impossible. Vader was dead - wasn't he?

For half a second the thought crossed her mind that this was a trap, that someone had found out about Anakin's connection to her and was using this to find out where she was hiding. But by the time that thought had fully formed, she already held the commlink in her trembling hands, now wide awake.

"Y-Yes?", she stuttered.

Nothing came from the other side but shallow breathing - which sent her into a panic all on its own because if it were Vader, she would hear the harsh noise of the respirator, wouldn't she?

"Padmé?", a voice then asked and she almost dropped the commlink.

It didn't sound like Vader. It didn't sound like Anakin either. It sounded raw and foreign and yet, the tone, the underlying hope and hint of desperation...

" _Anakin?",_ she asked disbelievingly.

"I've done it, Padmé. I'm coming to you. Tell me where you are."

Her hands felt cold and clam, holding the commlink that hat morphed into her only connection to a past life.

"I saw the news...", she said weakly.

"A ploy to distract the Emperor", the voice said and then shortly after was interrupted by what sounded like a violent coughing fit. "Tell me where you are", he demanded again, sounding much weaker.

"Anakin, all you alright?", she asked, still wary about whether or not this was really her husband.

"I'm fine." A short pause. Then: "You were right about the suit having to go. But there was a reason I wore it. I'll need time to adjust but I'm fine enough to come to you."

There was just the slightest hint of accusations in his words and though Padmé was indignant at it - as if it was her fault Anakin chose to run around looking like a droid out of a nightmare - it also convinced her that this was indeed Vader.

When she was silent for too long, the voice told her now with an obvious warning: "Padmé, don't try to hide from me. You promised. I will find you regardless, just _tell me where you are!"_

She swallowed her anger but didn't manage it fully. "Don't try to threaten me, Vader", she told him coldly. "It's not me whose honor is in question. I'm on Tascow. I'll send you the coordinates."

She ended the call.

Light years away, Vader set down the commlink with trembling hands. When the coordinates finally arrived, he compared them with the one of the chip he'd had implanted under Padmé's skin. They matched.

She was not hiding from him. She had kept her promise after all. She had not betrayed him.

Letting out a shuddering breath he hadn't known he was holding - it still felt so strange to breathe without a respirator - Vader turned his attention back to the controls of his craft. It would take him mere hours to reach Tascow. Then he would be with his family at last.

XxX

"Don't wanna, Mama", Leia muttered as she rolled over and buried her face in her pillow.

"Come on Leia, you have to get up. And hurry too. Breakfast is already on the table", Padmé said as patiently as she could.

"No", Leia refused stubbornly. With a sigh Padmé started pulling at her blanket. Leia started trussing and turning, trying to get back the blanket without lifting her face from the pillow.

"It's still dark", Luke muttered from the bed above. He was at least sitting up already with his legs dangling over the edge.

"I need to talk to you about something before I bring you to the daycare", Padmé said. "Please hurry up and get ready." She stood and held out her arms for her son. Luke slung his arms around her neck and let himself be lifted down. Not that he needed to, he was big enough to use the ladder but he was never one to refuse a hug. He smiled at her, then went off to the refresher.

Padmé laid a hand on Leia's shoulder, who was still stubbornly turned away from her.

"You can stay in bed until your brother is done but then you have to wake up."

Leia muttered something unintelligible.

"I'm making pancakes", she tried again. That stopped the mumbling. Leia turned around and looked at her with bleary eyes.

"With jam?", she asked.

"With jam", she promised. "But they'll be cold if you need too much time getting ready."

Leia narrowed her eyes. She recognized a blackmailing attempt when she saw it but... it was pancakes. She turned around and hugged her pillow but Padmé stood up with a satisfied smile. She knew Leia would hurry up to get out of bed once she was gone.

Indeed, fifteen minutes later the kids sat around the table enjoying their pancakes Padmé watched their innocent glee and felt an odd combination of warmth and dread in her stomach.

"We'll be getting a visitor soon", she eventually started and immediately chastised herself for her choice of words. A visitor? Really?

"Who is it?", Leia wanted to know. "Is it Rabé?"

"No, it's...", the words tasted like ash on her tongue but she had to prepare them, "it's your father."

Both children stopped eating with their forks half way to their mouths, gaping at her in identical shock.

"But... we don't have a Papa", Luke said eventually.

"You said he's gone", Leia chimed in with a heavy scowl.

"Well, I...", oh blast it, "I thought so too sweetie. But it seems I was wrong. Your father wants to... come back. To us."

"To visit", Leia echoed incredulously.

""Yes... and possibly stay", she added quietly and took a sip from her coffee.

Leia looked highly skeptical and confused but on Luke's face, a grin slowly started to spread. "We have a Papa!" He turned to his sister. "Leia, we have a Papa!"

"No we don't!", Leia replied fiercely. "People don't come back when they're dead."

"He did not die", Padmé repeated patiently. "He was... injured very badly."

Luke looked relieved at that. "So he didn't leave because he didn't care about us?"

"No..."

"Then why aren't you happy?", Leia challenged. "Shouldn't you be happy? You don't look happy." She turned to Luke. "I bet when he's here, Mama and him are gonna fight all the time. You know, like the parents of that sleemo in daycare."

Padmé cleared her throat. "Nobody is going to fight. And even if we did, it just means we don't agree on every matter. It doesn't mean we can't... be a... family." Even to her own ears, she didn't sound convincing.

The children just stared at her.

"When's he gonna come?", Luke asked.

"I'm not sure. Maybe he'll already be here when you come back from daycare."

"What's he like?", Luke continued.

Padmé's heart clenched. For as long as the twins could remember, she had avoided that question but she could see Luke's eyes burst from curiosity.

"You... You will see that for yourself soon enough", she said at last. She didn't want to prejudice the twins against Vader before they ever saw him. It would be hard enough to try and make this work as it was. But she couldn't tell them lies either.

Unfortunately, perspective little bastards that they were, the twins easily noticed her discomfort.

"Is he a bad man?", Leia asked bluntly.

"No he isn't", Luke argued immediately. "He's a Jedi hero, remember?"

"He was", Padmé whispered. "But that was long ago."

"Did he hurt you?", Leia asked, her eyes narrowed. It reminded her so much of all the times she had got caught up in the Clone Wars with Anakin rushing to rescue her. He never asked if she was fine. He always asked if someone had hurt her. There wouldn't be concern in his eyes, just suspicion and anger.

She didn't want to answer the question. She couldn't lie but silence would be taken for confirmation anyway.

Damn it, talking to her own kids was tougher than talking to politicians ever was.

"Yes he did", she whispered at last. Before Leia's scowl could deepen and Luke's smile vanish though, she added: "Part of the reason he comes to live with us is so he can make up for that." She grabbed a pancake and started to furiously cover it with jam. "And I intend to make him work for it."

Oddly enough, that seemed to pacify Leia and she too started eating again.

"You know what that means, Luke?", she asked with fake innocence.

"What?", Luke answered confused.

"It means we have full permission to prank our _father_ from here to Wild Space and back again."

Luke smiled, still a bit unsure but Padmé didn't bother to hide her amused snort. She would've never believed it possible but now she actually looked forward to Vader meeting his kids. He had no idea what was expecting him.

XxX

Luke and Leia were still in daycare when Vader arrived. Padmé almost jumped when the door rang. She was so used to him sneaking into her apartment that she had prepared herself for being startled by him.

He didn't look good. Actually, he looked pretty horrible.

There was no breathing mask, no black leather and no cape so he wasn't recognizable as Darth Vader. Instead he wore a simple flight suit with a hood drawn deep into his face. Once he lifted it she couldn't help but stare. His face was terribly disfigured. His skin was pale as snow and littered with old burn scars. His throat was half ripped away with cables and cybernetics too thick to be covered by new skin running down the front, ending in a metal cap covering his chin. His eyes looked very small during to being sunken into his skull that was devoid of any hair.

She had a hard time recognizing any of his features. Ironically, the scar he sported running over one eye was the most familiar, as were his clear blue eyes.

"Hello Padmé", he said. His voice was a strange mix of Anakin's when he had a really bad cold and the slightly distorted one he had when he spoke over a com. She realized his natural voice must be too weak and had to be amplified by a vocoder still.

"Hello...", she said, then hesitated. "What do you want me to call you?" No matter what he thought of himself, she couldn't keep calling him Vader now that Darth Vader was officially dead.

"I have brought false identification that name me as Jacen Anakin Naberrie. When we are alone, Anakin will be fine."

At once she felt fury rise in her. "You called yourself Naberrie?", she asked coldly.

"We _are_ married, Padmé and I believe my original last name would draw too much attention." He sounded as if she was a child to be scolded.

"You had no right", she snapped coldly.

"How else will you explain me living with you? We have to stay inconspicuous, remember?", he said annoyed.

She crossed her arms in front of her. "You are my _estranged_ husband returning to get to know our children after you left me for another woman. That's what I told the neighbors. There's really no need for us to have the same last name."

Anakin's eyes widened in shock. "You told them _what!?_ I may not be perfect but I was _never_ unfaithful to you!"

"Would you prefer I tell them you choked me while I was pregnant with our children? They would hardly understand why I allow you anywhere near them. They would ask questions. We have to stay _inconspicuous,_ remember?", she threw his words back at him mockingly.

For a moment a shadow of sickly yellow flashed over Anakin's blue eyes and it reminded her of the change she saw in her husband when he went to Mustafar. She saw him clench and unclench his fists and took a step back, wary of whatever he was going to throw at her.

But Anakin fought down his anger, making a face as if he had to swallow his own bile as he did so.

"Fine!", he spat at last. "It doesn't matter what the others think anyway. Where are my children? I want to see them now!"  
"They are still at the daycare", Padmé said, watching him carefully.

"Where is that? I will go and get them."

"No you won't. I taught them not to go with strangers and besides, it would be better if your first meeting was under less public circumstances. I will get them in an hour when the daycare closes. You can use the time to get settled."

Anakin took a step forward and this time Padmé didn't flinch back so he came within touching distance, looming over her.

"I have forsaken the Empire, I've left behind my old life and everything connected to it and still you won't trust me to pick up my children from bloody daycare?!"  
"Exactly", she stated coldly. "In fact, until I say otherwise you will not be alone with them." She nodded to the door behind him. "You room is over there. I bring the children to daycare at 7.30 before I go to work and I pick them up at 16.00. Bedtime is at 20.00. That's all for now."

Anakin peeked into the room assigned to him. There was just a single bed and some wardrobes. He didn't know why but he had expected they'd be sleeping in the same bed, or at least the same room. Well, of course not.

When Anakin continued to just stare at the room for almost a minute, Padmé grew a little nervous.

"Is there anything else you need?", she asked.

"How did we end up like this?", Anakin asked quietly. He turned back to her and for the first time since entering through her door, he resembled the man she married. He resembled her Anakin during the first year when he mourned his mother.

"We are broken, Padmé. And it's not just me." Padmé too, she was so cold, so distant. There was no trace of teasing or fangs hidden behind a smile like when she angrily came down on some politician. She too had changed.

"Can we ever mend this?"

Her expression softened the tiniest bit. "Time will tell."

He nodded, then went around looking into the other rooms. He scowled when he saw the children's bedroom.

"This flat is too small. I've set enough credits aside to buy us a mansion."  
"And how would you explain a mansion? Too much money draws attention to us. Besides, we might need it if the Empire finds us and we have to make a quick escape."

"My children should live a better life than this."

Padmé scowled at him. "And _my_ children ought to be happy. The twins have always slept in the same room. Luke's afraid to sleep on his own and Leia doesn't mind. Maybe in a few years we can move but for now it would be wrong to separate them."

"Luke's afraid to sleep alone? Why?"

Padmé shrugged. "He thinks there are monsters under his bed."

"Monsters under his bed", Anakin repeated dully.

"It's perfectly normal for a five year old!"

Anakin tried to remember what he was afraid of when he was five. Mostly it was Gardulla and her unpredictable moods. He'd been afraid the Hutt would kill his mother or him on a whim like she did so many other slaves.

His son was afraid of imaginary monsters under his bed. He might not be an Imperial prince but he certainly lived a better life than his father once did. He supposed that was something - even if a tiny voice in his head told him that such fear was quite a disgusting trait for any son of his to have. Well, he'd make sure to cure him of it.

One hour later Anakin had brought everything essential he needed into the flat and stored his spaceship in a warehouse whose owner he bribed to keep silent about it. He was just pondering over the dilemma that he had forgotten to buy himself enough clothing, being used to wearing the same armor and just half a dozen jumpsuits made so they wouldn't chafe on his sensitive skin that it just hadn't been a priority, when the door opened and he heard the delighted squeal of children running through the living room.

In his rush to finally meet his children, Anakin totally forgot to be nervous but when he entered the living room and the two children stopped whatever they were doing to stare at him, he remembered why he had good reason to be.

"Luke, Leia, that's your father, Anakin", Padmé said quite unnecessarily, though it did help to break the stupor they were in.

Anakin should probably be insulted by their staring but he wasn't, not really, as he was quite busy staring himself. At first the two looked like miniature versions of their parents: Luke with the sandy blonde hair and blue eyes of his father and Leia with the smooth brown hair and eyes of her mother. On second thought though, they were totally different. Anakin recognized Padmé's small statute in both of them. Leia had her mother's heart shaped face but the chin of her father and her eyes were more defiant and alive than warm and caring. Anakin even recognized Shmi's features in Luke's face but he had an innocence about him that was totally foreign to him.

"Hello children", he greeted and went down on one knee to be on the same level with them. It was important to him that this first meeting went well so he could quickly gain their trust so he tried his best not to appear intimidating.

He needn't have worried though. His two twins were quite full of questions and not shy to ask them.

"What's that thing there?", Luke asked, pointing at his breather.

"It's a gadget that helps me breathe."

"Why do you need help breathing?"

"Because I was badly burned some years ago."

"Is that why you're so ugly?"

"Luke!", Leia scolded her brother, who quickly muttered: "Sorry."

"It's fine. I know I'm not quite as handsome as I used to be", Anakin joked, masking his own discomfort. "And yes, that's also where the scars come from."

"Did Mama do that to you?", Leia wanted to know.

"Leia!", it was Luke now who scolded her but unlike her brother, the little girl just looked ahead resolutely.

Anakin's breath hitched. Where the hell did that idea come from?"  
"No", he said blankly.

"How long are you gonna live with us?", Leia continued and now Anakin felt as if he was being interrogated under her stern gaze.

"Unless something unpredictable happens, forever", he replied with slightly narrowed eyes.

"Can you make pancakes?", Luke wanted to know.

"...yes." Actually no but how hard could that be?

"Mama said you were dead. Why aren't you dead anymore?", Leia asked with a fake smile that looked totally wrong on a face so young.

"I was never dead. I was recovering", he said and pointed to the breather. "Your mother didn't know about that until we met again by chance."

"So... you didn't really search for us."  
"I would have if I'd known you are alive. I thought your mother dead too as she was also hurt around the same time as I."  
"Because of you", Leia accused him.

"Leia!", Luke said and nudged her. Anakin didn't have a chance to answer to her because he promtly asked: "Do you read stories?"

"Sure, if you want me to", he said, somewhat relieved.

"Are you and Mama going to kiss?", Leia asked.

"Probably not in front of you."

They both looked relieved at that, he noted amused.

"Do you know what TIE means?", Luke asked with a smile.

Anakin looked confused. "Do you mean the twin ion engine?"

Luke's innocent little smile turned into a sly smirk. "That was a test", he said.

Leia rolled her eyes at her brother. "He's obsessed with star ships", she offered. "What about poems? Do you like poems?"

"Nobody likes poems!", Luke protested.

"Some people do!"

"Yes but neither of us so who cares? What kind of random question is that?"  
"Well he's not going anywhere so I can ask random questions, don't I? You do it too after all!"

"My questions aren't random!"

"Of course they are! Who cares if he can make pancakes? Mama makes the pancakes!"

"But only if she wants us to do something. If he can make pancakes too, that'll mean we get twice as much."

Leia thought about that for a moment. "Okay, good point", she admitted.

"Alright, that's enough you two", Padmé said. "Give your father some space."

"But Mama", the two chorused in exactly the same pleading tone.

"You can continue to ask questions later but now I need his help making dinner. Unless you want to give me a hand too?"

The twins looked visibly torn but in the end they left for their room.

"They're... interesting", Anakin muttered. In truth he didn't do much more than set the table as he was a wasn't a very good cook while Padmé prepared dinner.

"Do they get along well? Or are they arguing often?", he wanted to know.

"Both", she replied curtly. "They can argue quite terribly to the point where they won't speak to each other for days but when they have a common goal they work together like you and... Well."

"You mean to say I'm a common goal now", Anakin said between gritted teeth, ignoring the almost-comment about the man who used to be his brother.

"They're perspective and sly. If I didn't know better I'd say they were playing good cop, bad cop with me. With Leia asking all the inquisitive question and Luke distracting from them."

"So you noticed", Padmé said with a little smile.

"I don't think they're doing it consciously though", he said quietly.

"Well, they are twins."  
"They're more than that. They're Force-sensitive."

Padmé slowed in her movement, not looking at him.

"You spoke to them for barely five minutes. How would you know already?"

"I can sense their presence. Luke's mostly. He's shining so brightly it covers everything else. Leia too is powerful but it's like she has natural shielding. Maybe they have a bond in the Force build up while growing in the same womb that partially merges their presence and it just expresses more in Luke because he's a bit more open to the world around him. Less... suspicious than Leia?" He shook his head. "I have to get to know them better to say for sure."

Padmé pierced him with an icy stare. "I want to make one thing clear from the beginning. I don't want you to teach either of them anything about the Force. I don't want you to breathe a word about it to them."

Anakin stared at her as if she'd ask him to marry Obi-Wan. His bafflement eventually turned into stone-face resolution.

"No", he said.

"Anakin-"  
"I said no. You aren't a sensitive, you can never understand this but the Force is so much greater than anything you can find in any galaxy. To feel it is a blessing and a birthright to those children."

"It didn't do you much good in the end. If it weren't for the Force-"  
"Don't speak of things you don't understand!", he hissed. "All the mistakes I made, all the pain, everything I lost, I would endure it all over again if that was the price to pay for feeling the Force." He crossed his arms in front of him. "I will refrain from teaching them about the dark side. It is not something children should dabble in. But I'd rather die than deny them what is rightfully theirs."

Padmé still didn't look happy. "We'll speak about this later", she said and continued with her chore.

Anakin glared but kept his mouth shut. His first day and already they were fighting. What a wonderful start in his new life.

XxX

AN: Oh my god, I can't believe it's so long since I last updated but I've been so incredibly busy. Still are but hey, it's Christmas and the Last Jedi put me back in a Star Wars fever so whatever, here's the new chapter.

Vader is less dark here because he wants to make a good impression on his children and Padmé but he won't be able to hide his darker side forever.

I thought about what to call him here since Vader can't use 'Vader' for obvious reasons but he despises 'Anakin' who he sees as weak and separate from himself. Naberrie was pretty easy as it is his way to express some dominance over Padmé, showing his possessive behavior that he insists they continue to stay married for the outside world and his fake first name Jacen, well you know where I got that from. It just seemed to fit. In the end he chose to go by Anakin in private because he thinks the reminder to his old self will help Padmé connect with him and that's worth swallowing his own dislike for it for.

I don't know when the next update will be. I moved to a new city and started a new job and there's all kinds of stuff to do but since the stupid mouse insists we'll have a star wars movie every year, the SW fever will probably hold for some time still...

Merry Christmas and happy holiday to you all!


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